Auteur's Blog
The Six Phases of Stepmotherhood
*adapted from the six stages of a project
1. Enthusiasm
2. Disillusionment
3. Panic
4. Search for the Guilty (free ranger BM then guilty daddy)
5. Punishment of the Innocent (SM)
6. Praise and Honours for the Non Participants (free ranger BM and guilty daddy)
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GG WHEN will you EVER LEARN!!!
So it seems that GG's six pages of handwritten heartfelt letter "to the skids" is an epic FAIL!! Who Knew??!! I was not privy to that letter (on purpose, of course; they're HIS KIDS and therefore none of MY business, but I digress) but GG was a FOOL not to make a copy of it. According to GG he "called out" the Behemoth and clan on their PAS! He actually thought that the Behemoth would let that one slide simply b/c it was "addressed to the skids" and sent priority mail. HA!
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O/T EXCITING!!! New (to me) Episodes of "A Haunting"
Noticed it seemed there were new episodes of "A Haunting" on. . .one of my fav shows. Of course GG calls it "gay" and I can only watch it when he's not around or it will be mocked out louder and louder and LOUDER by GG.
So I was on my eliptical this morning watching one of the new episodes and a SQUIRREL came flying and bounced off my exterior french doors with a loud BANG! (they are quite acrobatic) and it made me JUMP! Friggin' hilarious!!!
Wish me Luck on "Actress Round Two"
This Sunday we'll "officially" be celebrating GG's b-day. Which is funny b/c he totally forgot mine last year. Anyhoo I have to act interested so wish me luck!!
Only a few more months before my ninja-like exit!!
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Does this Skid. . .errr I mean KID Story Sound Familiar?
http://www.imperfectparent.com/topics/2012/03/14/truant-student-tasered-...
Nice. 200 lb 9 year old who refuses to go to school and just wants to stay at home in front of the screen. Sounds like Mommykins has been free ranging him for a looooooonnnnnnng time!
BLOG HOG ALERT! It Feels Like I'm Living With A Pimp!!
I got to thinking the other day and my "relationship" is no different than living with a PIMP. That's right, a PIMP!
1. I pay all living expenses for the both of us with my salary
2. He does the minimal other than labour on the house rennos; which he feels entitles him to 100% of the house; practically all of his wages goes to his "bottom bitch" the Behemoth.
3. He gets sex on demand; his way when and where he wants it
4. He demands control over me and everything else; I am not to "meddle" (aka have any opinion) in his affairs (his first family)
La-La-La-La-La. . .La-La-La-La-La
So I noticed that GG has been "hiding" his phone since the "living young wild and free" (horribly misspelled by VD SD13) text.
Seems she texted him YET AGAIN during SCHOOL HOURS yesterday with the SAME TEXT MSG!!!!
I told GG this morning that VD is getting that from a popular music rap video about smoking weed and getting drunk.
Me: "Do you want to see it?" (as I reach to type in youtube)
GG: (abruptly and gruffly) "NO!" and he made no eye contact with me.
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HA HA HA HA HAHA HA HA HA HA HAHA!!!
OMG I CANNOT stop laughing!!!
. . .wait for it!!
Ok VD's horribly misspelled text was in reference to THIS song/video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0lYOUIDkjUA
1. GG is a full blown 100% redneck and HATES anything remotely "ethnic"
2. The other day GG said "My kids aren't like my nephews girls (who were much better behaved as youngsters than GG's hellions); they will NEVER do drugs!
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I have a FUTURE CAREER as an ACTRESS!!
So GG wanted to get an enhanced driver's license b/c he needs to go to Canada for a work seminar. I don't think he realized until then just how DEPENDENT he is on me!!
He needed proof of existence. . .utility bills, etc. NOPE! All in MY name. He literally had to have me sign an affidavit of his existence and residence so that the DMV could process his app for EDL!!! The local DMV gave him the third degree (county I work for) and he was plenty pissed about that!! I had filed his paystubs so I had to grab that as another "proof."
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The UNIVERSE is Telling me to EXIT this YEAR!!
GG was walking on air last night; so proud he could crap himself (shout out to Houtxstepmom's Cap'n Shittypants)
Backstory: So GG writes a six paged, handwritten, "heartfelt" letter (not shown to me of course) and sends it priority mail to the skids shortly after I get back from Awesomeson's AF graduation.
GG thinks that b/c I have a good relationship with my grown, productive, properly parented as children bios, that HE should be ENTITLED to a guilty/disney dad relationship with his spoiled, rude, bratty, lying, stealing, sociopathic, underachievers.
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