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Not My Kid, Not My FDH, No Longer My Problem

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Submitted by Miss Know It All on Tue, 08/09/2011 - 5:50pm

Ended things with FDH last night. Cannot be in a relationship with only me, cannot fix his problems, rescue his kid, or mend his broken heart. Will not sacrifice everything I've accomplished so that he can feel better about the ruin of his first marriage. Ladies (and Gents), I just wanted to thank you for your support on this site and wish everyone the best whether they stay, go, or hang out in limbo for years and years without ever really finding an answer. Mine was made for me, it looks like.

Feeling Better About Things (long and sort of o/t)

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Submitted by Miss Know It All on Wed, 07/27/2011 - 11:29am

The past two months have been a rough patch in The Relationship. FDH moved back into his house while BM moved out; FDH turned 30 while I also aged up another year; I did a lot of traveling and public speaking for work (and still have more to go this summer); and we started couples counseling.

I miss FSD3...

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Submitted by Miss Know It All on Mon, 07/25/2011 - 7:47pm

Things are a hot mess right now with FDH moving himself and FSD3 back into the former marital home. I haven't seen FSD3 in almost a whole month and I find myself missing her. I miss FDH, too, because even when I'm right next to him, he's not "there."

He's depressed. And not the cosmetic kind where you're down, but you know you'll get better. The kind where you need intervention because you're destroying your life.

Feeling The Stress, Planning The Next Therapy Session

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Submitted by Miss Know It All on Fri, 07/22/2011 - 1:59pm

Well, no one said it would be easy to date a guy in a fresh divorce with a child. Especially with my career at the point where it is. Even so, sometimes it gets to me just how much work goes into this relationship. And I catch myself worrying over whether or not I'm getting enough out of it.

Couples Counseling

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Submitted by Miss Know It All on Thu, 07/21/2011 - 1:05pm

We had our first session this week right as FDH moved back into his house and right before I left on business.

Things the shrink said that I liked:
Children need boundaries
The relationship is the core; the children orbit the core
Eventually children grow up and leave, but a spouse is supposed to be there forever
You will find things in each other that you do not like
You should be telling each other about yourself - not the other person
Even with a child involved, your partner has boundaries that need to be respected

Here Comes The Hurricane (moving)

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Submitted by Miss Know It All on Fri, 07/15/2011 - 3:02pm

FDH plans to start moving things back to the marital home this weekend. It also happens to be a FSD3 weekend AND his immediately family plans to be out of town at an event. It's almost like he planned to put himself in the worst possible moving situation: No free labor, stressed out 3-year-old, couples counseling with the FDW on Monday to cap it off.

I've offered what help I can -- packing boxes, keeping an eye on FSD3, getting them dinner or something. But each time I've offered, FDH has rejected. "This is my drama, I have to deal with it myself," he says.

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