Here Comes The Hurricane (moving)
FDH plans to start moving things back to the marital home this weekend. It also happens to be a FSD3 weekend AND his immediately family plans to be out of town at an event. It's almost like he planned to put himself in the worst possible moving situation: No free labor, stressed out 3-year-old, couples counseling with the FDW on Monday to cap it off.
I've offered what help I can -- packing boxes, keeping an eye on FSD3, getting them dinner or something. But each time I've offered, FDH has rejected. "This is my drama, I have to deal with it myself," he says.
On the one hand, I'm proud of him. He DOES need to deal with his own mess. But on the other, I think he's setting himself up for more drama than there needs to be. After not speaking to him about the stupid bedtime situation (see previous blogs), he had a complete meltdown with his kid from a solid week of 4am bedtimes and 8am wake-up times. So now he's ACTUALLY enforcing bedtime. But even so, he's not sleeping well on account of the stress of the move and now that he ACTUALLY has to move, he probably won't be able to handle both that and his child with zero help.
Maybe he's right to keep me at arm's length -- it keeps me out of range of drama. But it makes me feel rejected and useless. And if we go the whole weekend not seeing each other and then our reunion is in the counselor's office? Eesh. Plus I'm out of town all next week and haven't seen him this week on account of a conference.
I've told him how I feel and he says he'll "try and make some time" for me. I did tell him I thought he should arrange for FSD3 to be with a non-crazed adult for at least a few hours while Daddy does the worst of the moving part -- alone. He started to tell me he could handle it... and then FSD3 broke out of her bedroom confinement and started trying to get FDH to let her sleep in the living room with Netflix on.
He put down the phone and physically put her back in her room. Then he picks up the phone and says, "Yeah. Maybe I do need somebody to watch her."
It probably won't be me. And I don't know if that's a good or a bad thing.
- Miss Know It All's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
Oh -- his ex signed over the
Oh -- his ex signed over the loan to him per their mediation agreement (does it still count as a divorce decree?). So she was supposed to be out July 1 and he was supposed to 1) move back in and 2) start paying alimony. That's why he's been such a troll lately; she gets a LOT of alimony. And, naturally, he told her to "take all the time" she needs to move out because she's been struggling, so she took her time and he flipped out about it even though he created that situation. He did at least follow through on his own side and give 30 days' notice on his apartment, so now he HAS to be out.
And no, moving in with me is not an option. I have two roommates and live in a different city; and our relationship is not stable enough to support yay-we're-living-together drama on top of all this divorce angst. Originally, he'd asked me to come move in there with him -- but after putting it to steptalk, I backed out of that.