At this point, youre both 'adults' (I use the term loosely in SDs case) but its clear you two do not have a relationship. Say as much to your H and tell him to have fun at the wedding.

Seems like a lot of you have the same situation: a spoiled adult daughter whose father doesn't want to admit that he has spoiled her. My situation is so similar. I am engaged to a wonderful man. We both have adult children, me two, a 27 year young woman and a 23 year old young man, and my fiance's one 24 year old daughter. My fiance has been a widower for 13 years. We have been dating for close to 3 years now and got engaged a few moths ago. When he told his daughter, she cried and said that he "was not taking her feelings into consideration." On the other hand, my kids said, "Congratulations, Mom. We are so happy for you." In the time we have been dating his daughter has been unwelcoming to me, surprised when I am gong to be at things like his birthday, and gone behind my back to say really awful things about me to her dad and now I hear to his friends as well. I have always been welcoming and inclusive with her. But now I am at my wit's end. Any advice on how I deal with her? At this point, I just want to avoid her as much as possible because I don't like possessive, selfish people, which is what her behavior has been all this time. I raised my children to be loving and inclusive; apparently he has not raised his daughter with the same values. Instead, he makes excuses for her behavior because she lost her mother--but that was 13 years ago, and I don't agree that losing someone gives a person license to be unkind to others or so controlling towards her dad.. My overtures of friendship towards her have been met with comments behind my back that I am "trying too hard." At other times, I have just remained fairly quiet around her and then hear comments later from her dad that she said, "Is she (meaning me) always that quiet?" So I feel there is no winning with her. Every time we are around each other, there is always the "elephant in the room." The elephant is that she does not want her father to have a relationship with a woman, any woman. She acts like I am the "other woman." She even sent him a really rude text when he stopped by my house briefly last Christmas day to exchange gifts with me because I had been too sick to attend the Christmas gathering we had planned to go to together on Christmas eve which was when we planned to exchange gifts. Her text said, "Are you paving the highways before you drive home on them?" I was flabbergasted by that text, but it is indicative of how she views me, as an interloper and "the other woman." Any ideas on how to deal with her?

Thanks for you comment, ybarra357. He doesn't really deal with it with his daughter. He makes excuses for her horrible behavior because she lost her mother. I just now started my own blog as per your suggestions. I am new to this site and didn't quite know how it worked. But, yes, I had pretty much come to the same conclusion you suggested: don't be around her unless absolutely necessary. It's her loss. My fiance and I and my kids regularly do fun things together and everyone feels accepted and comfortable around each other. I really don't see it changing with his daughter, thouhg. It has been almost 3 years and her behavior has only gotten worse.