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Update

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Submitted by Sadielady on Wed, 07/03/2024 - 10:18am

I haven't been on here in quite a while because, thankfully, I've been free from step parent drama for 6 months and counting. I leaned on this community a lot through my dark times, so thought I owed everyone an update. DH currently has no contact with anyone in his family other than his mother, and he's very low contact with her (dinner out for her birthday and Mother's day). SD sold her house and moved to another city over a 4 hour drive from us. She didn't bother to tell DH she was moving, and no one else in the family thought to tell him either.

The Dreaded Wedding Details Have Arrived

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Submitted by Sadielady on Wed, 02/14/2024 - 9:01pm

DH hasn't been in contact with SS30 or future-ex-DIL since the end of December. Yesterday he hot a text from FXDIL saying that the wedding details will be emailed out soon as she hopes the "two of (us) can come". Just going along expecting everyone to ignore the numerous elephants in the room for the sake of her IG wedding. But at the same time, making no mention of my kids despite having been "siblings" for 10 years. Today, DH received said email and I'm just so sad for him.

Living the disengagement dream

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Submitted by Sadielady on Tue, 02/06/2024 - 8:26am

Thought I'd do a little update, since it's been awhile and all of you got me through some pretty dark days. In the months leading up to Christmas, SS30 was doing his best Eddie Haskell routine (I'm aging myself here!). Like  ignore my texts and then tell DH he hadn't received them. DH has come a long way, but still wanted to believe that things were salvageable with SS (especially with SS planning a wedding). I couldn't stand the thought of going into 2024 with this dark cloud still hanging over my marriage. So I forced a confrontation with SS, and he showed his very ugly colours.

Detachment and DH’s birthday

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Submitted by Sadielady on Thu, 11/16/2023 - 6:27am

DH's birthday is in a couple of weeks. Prior to the 2022 blow up, we would celebrate with all 4 of our kids and the two older kids' partners. My SKs weren't perfect, but we did all gel as a group and our family dinners were always fun. Last year, SS and future-ex-DIL came to dinner and it was a disaster. This year neither of the SKs are coming which is how it has to be. But my heart is still sad for DH and full of nostalgia for how it used to be. I know this detachment is the right thing for me and for my marriage, and most days it feels very freeing, but I hate it for my DH.

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Peace

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Submitted by Sadielady on Sun, 10/15/2023 - 8:37pm

I was chopping an onion this afternoon, and my eyes started to water uncontrollably. DH offered to take over and I said "but then we'd both be crying". Then we looked at eachother and reaized that neither one of us has cried in over a month.That's a record since our blended family blew up in May 2022. I know there will still be bumps, and I know DH still has a lot of processing to do in terms of his family, but our current state of detachment from his family is pure bliss. 

Weird mix of feelings.

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Submitted by Sadielady on Wed, 10/04/2023 - 8:55am

This weekend is Thanksgiving in Canada. DH and I are hosting my family for dinner on Saturday. DH's sister is hosting dinner for their family as well. And we haven't been invited . This is a first and I'm thrilled about it. It means there's no decision for us to make and no guilt or second thoughts about that decision. It means a peaceful gathering with my extended family without the backdrop of DH's family drama. 

Validation!

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Submitted by Sadielady on Sat, 09/23/2023 - 12:55pm

Those who have followed along so far will remember that DH's ex sent the police to our house for a wellness check, after he didn't attend SS's engagement party. Since then, we've obtained a copy of the police report and confirmed that she out right lied to the police.

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Two steps forward, one step back…

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Submitted by Sadielady on Fri, 09/08/2023 - 10:50am

After 2 weeks if no contact, SS30 called DH last night. When DH aswered SS was all "hey pops, how are you?". Like NOTHING happened. They "chatted" about work and then DH told him he wanted to meet him for dinner because they "have to talk about some things". DH sees this as progress. He's still riding high on his successful boundary-communicating with his uncle, and he says he feels strong enough now to have a similar conversation with Little Lord Fauntleroy. I was (and am) furious. DH has already told LLF that he can't be rude to me. That boundary has already been communicated.

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All quiet on the front..

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Submitted by Sadielady on Sun, 09/03/2023 - 1:59pm

It's been 2 weeks since the dreaded engagement party and life has been gloriously peaceful. The future exDIL reached out to DH and asked him to make nice with SS. So DH texted him and reiterated that missing his engagement party wasn't an easy decision. SS responded by saying that he didn't want to talk about it because he didn't want to say something he would regret (that's a first) but did say "I'm very angry at you and your wife". It's always an interesting sign when I lose my name and become "the wife". But whatever. DH didn't respond and there's been no further communication.

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