DH's birthday is in a couple of weeks. Prior to the 2022 blow up, we would celebrate with all 4 of our kids and the two older kids' partners. My SKs weren't perfect, but we did all gel as a group and our family dinners were always fun. Last year, SS and future-ex-DIL came to dinner and it was a disaster. This year neither of the SKs are coming which is how it has to be. But my heart is still sad for DH and full of nostalgia for how it used to be. I know this detachment is the right thing for me and for my marriage, and most days it feels very freeing, but I hate it for my DH.

So, I've just joined the group and would like to say hello.

I have been a Step Mom legally for 2 years but DH and I have been together for 11 years. I have known his kids since they were 14, 6, and 4. They are now 26, 17, and 16. We've been through a lot and for the most part I've suffered in silence but lately I feel like I've needed some help or, at the very least, someone to vent to. Which is why I'm here. 

When I first signed on to this forum a month ago, I was going through a very tough time with my last SD moving out. I didn't understand and could not believe a 20-year-old I had known for 13 years could be so callous.

I'm new to this webpage and wished I had found it years ago. I didn't realize what I was doing had a label - disengagement. My story is that I married my DH when his daughter was 5 years old. BM had full custody because we lived in different states. When she was 14, she started acting out and BM wanted her to live with us. DH and I had two young sons together (1.5 and 4 years old). While we tried to help her as much as we could, SD was hostile; she got suspended from school for drinking between classes. She stole our truck and took a joy ride with some friends.

This is my first post on this site but I am a long time lurker lol. My story goes back 8 years with SD 20 and SD 13. My DH and I married about 6 years ago and have a pretty great relationship and I have always got on pretty well with both skids. SD 13 I have known since she was about 6 and we have built a pretty cool friendship where she also respects me as an authority figure in her life. SD 20 and i not so much.