Need some advice re. family gathering...
In two weeks there is a faimly function with DH's family. His neice is turning 21 (fine) her father is 50(I have been married ot DH for 6 years and only time I have seen hmy brother in law is at our wedding - he never comes to any other functions) and surprise 60th for Father in law (non issues with this).
The problem is that both of DH's kids are going (SS15yo lives with us but SD19yop is coming down from another state with her boyfriend). But of late because there have been so many dramas with SS15yo, SD19yo has jumped on the bandwagon and been feeding him bullshit about how DH was a shitty dad to her, now he is a shitty dad to SS15yop, but our 3 year old daughter is the 'favourite'. I get along ok with SD19yo but there is bad blood with her and DH and bio mum and him split before she found out she was pregnant, and DH lost contact with them for a number of years when BM moved without telling him where.
In addition, sme time ago our other neice (who I cabn't stand) sent DH a filthy email saying what a shit father he was to SD19yo (neice was 16 at the time), and her and the 21 whose birthday it is have recently seen SS15yo and been egging him on after he has been blabbing to them about how shite things are with us.
Keeping up?
So I really don't want to go to the weekend, I would like to go as it is my father in law's 60th but that is the only reason, and we would have to take 2 cars meaning I would have to drive on my own with 3yo daughter and it is a 5 hour drive, because there is no way I am taking SS15yo, SD 19yo and her boyfreind with me and we all won't fit in one car.
So any tips on how I can get out of it?
There has been a nasty virus
There has been a nasty virus going around lately in your town. Come to mention it, Talia, you are looking a bit peaky. I think you may catch it in 10 days time.
You can either go and support
You can either go and support your DH, with your little girl as it is her family too, IGNORE the little girls playing grown ups as they have NO idea what they are talking about. Maybe even get DH to take both his kids aside, prior to the journey and without the boyfriend and speak to them, I could NEVER say any thing like how kids speak to their parents nowadays! And tell them, either grow up and show me some respect as your father or we wont be doing family things together. They need to know they are not entitled and have to earn and work at a relationship with their father too.
Or if you really dont want to go then a few days before as Kes put, drama it up, people at work have got it 'oh i hope i dont get it, i wouldn't want to miss the party' etc then BAM! lol
Personally I think you should go and support your husband and be a family unit with him and yur child
good luck!
Harley I really like the idea
Harley I really like the idea of them having to earn and work at a relationship too - I am sick of this sense of entitlement that these two kids have, that DH has to do all the work while they sit on their lazy asses and do nothing to contribute!!
^This! Seriously, why does
^This! Seriously, why does the trouble-maker and her boyfriend need to go with your family? She's a grown up, now. She can handle it.
They are flying down from
They are flying down from another state and can't afford to rent a car
And DH suggested about the 2 car thing so he can spend some time with her I guess. She is nto a bad kid at all and depsite the comments to SS15yo, I talked to her about them and asked her not to say stuff like that as it only eggs him on - she apologised and said she wouldn't say anythign like that again. Other than that there have never really been many issues but the contact has really only been once/twice a year tops.
I think your DH needs to say
I think your DH needs to say something to SD19 about getting counseling.
And no, I wouldn't be driving
And no, I wouldn't be driving her anywhere until she has shown that she is working through the issues she has and can keep her vitriol reined in around you and your daughter.
newwife3 is SO right! I didnt
newwife3 is SO right! I didnt even think about that! She should def make her own way up there so you his WIFE and his younger daughter (favourite or not, she is younger and therefor needs more looking after than a 19yr old bitch) can travel together, its her choice to bring her boyfriend, hes not family, shit she's just about! why should you guys have to be spereated like you've done something ....
I tell you I had to bite my
I tell you I had to bite my tounge with that - the email was so aggressive, DH wrote back to mind your own business, you are a kid and his relationship with his child is nothign to do with her. He also told his sister about it but she did nothing (as usual) all her 4 kids do whatever they please.
But SS19yo wrote a status along the lines of 'how could you do that to your only son??? how dare you?' - I asked her if it was in reference to SS15yo maybe going to boarding school and she said no it was about a friend (lying I suspect) and the neice wrote back 'yes the hide...' so I know it was about us and I was so angry. This was only about 2 weeks ago.
The 21yo neice has also been filling SS15yo head with crap about him going to love with my in-laws (which they won't have a bar of), so all of this has been going on really recently and I just don't want to be around any of them, but as was mentioned previously I do want to support DH and see his dad who I really like (and his other sister who is awesome).
I guess I might just have to suck this one up, drive down with my 3yo and just me in one car and all of them in the other.... it is only one night we would be staying, the beauty of the two cars is DH will just continue through and drop SD19yo and her HF off at the airport and I can go straight home.
What did your DH do about it
What did your DH do about it all though?? Sounds like all the kids have a lack of respect for him,and by the sounds of it their own parents.thats not good especially with u bringing up ur little one. I think DH needs to pull sum punches here amd demand some respect,what he does is upto him and doesnt need to be explained to teenagers,hes the father and not a bad one.
Kids nowadays need to get back in their box and realise who the hell put them on this earth in the first place!
Well done for going to support ur husband and dont speak to people u dont like,done waste any energy on them x
LOL simple but brilliant
LOL simple but brilliant