Nasty's perspective (what would you do??)
Nasty has been a real piece of work lately. SO has been stressed out which isn’t good for him…at all. He is 90% disabled due to his service in the USMC and his body does NOT handle stress well.
This blog http://steptalk.org/node/70689 contains what is going on with summer visitation and the rules that SO must follow should he be granted the privilege of seeing XSD16.
Along with the drama as mentioned in the previous blog, the world, according to Nasty is as follows:
The divorce is entirely SO's fault. SO is the reason that she cheated on him (FIVE TIMES in two months!), SO is the reason that she misses the SKids, SO is the reason that her life is so miserable, everything is SO's fault. Just because two people get divorced does NOT mean that it stops being the husbands job to make the wife happy...it says so in the Bible! (The divorce was FOUR years ago!!!)
SO doesn’t talk to her enough…you know…about her life, how she is doing – it’s like he just doesn’t care!
She understands that SO is with ME now but she is still a part of his life! She is the mother of his children!
She has the right to meet me. Apparently, I am insecure if I don’t want to have anything to do with her. It is imperative that she meets me and gets to know me…you know, since I’m raising HER kids and all!
*when she found out I wasn't going to be in FL this year...she doesn't know why*
I am immature because I won't meet her. I am insecure. I obviously think that I can't live up to her style as a wife and mother. I feel inferior. It's not her fault that my self esteem is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO low that I can't manage to grow up and do my duties as the woman raising HER babies!
SO & I should be just fine with having “family time” while she has the Skids…they are STILL a family! Her (on again off again, for a whopping TWO months) BF is FINE with her having “family time” he understands because he is secure in their relationship…if SO & I do not want “family time”, well, OBVIOUSLY this means that SO & I aren’t in a “good place” in our relationship.
Between now and July 10th, she EXPECTS SO to man up and return the court ordered CS to her…so that she doesn’t have to save so hard to take the Skids to Disney.
Nasty expects SO to man up and allow her to claim the Skids (I KNEW this one could come back up!!!) every year.
So yeah...it's been a GREAT week!
This whole fiasco has been bugging the crap out of me! I promised SO that I would NOT have an opinion (as mentioned in my previous blog)...I have bit my tongue about this whole thing. SO found my comment about him being dense (last blog) to be VERY offensive. Okay, great...prove me wrong! For some reason, he still thinks she has power. He is scared to death that she will get mad one day and sue for custody and win. That's the power that she holds. That, dear friends, is IT! So in reality, she has NO power, what-so-ever yet...here we are, again!
I had NOT planned on going to FL because my dad is sick. He will be going through his last rounds of Chemo and Radiation during the same time that the trip has been planned. BUT...now I WANT to go. I WANT her to know that I'm there...I want her to SEE me walking away, to entertain myself. I want her to know that I am there, in FL but not meeting her. Just because. I would LOVE to be able to respond to her stupidity...really, I would.
Please bear in mind...I have met this woman ONCE for less than two minutes during drop off this last summer. I have never emailed her, never texted her, never facebooked her, never spoken to her on the phone.
Someone please put this into perspective for me so that I don't do something that I will regret later! I want her & I in a ring...gloves off...just sayin.
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Comments
He doesn't have the sense to
He doesn't have the sense to do the same...that is my problem.
I don't speak to her...I have no way of getting a "whatever" response or any other to her because SO is insisting on treating the cow with kid gloves due to her fear of (impossible and unrealistic) retaliation.
She says whatever she wants and I have ZERO control. That is why my thought process has moved from me staying in TX to me joining SO in FL...that way, I can let her know that what she wants means zero to me without saying a damn word.
Oh wow!! Ive read both your
Oh wow!! Ive read both your blogs about this, so Im going to write this as if Im speaking to your DH first, then to you. The things I say are just my opinion & my knowledge I have with dealing with my DHs ExW.
To your hubby: I can see that you generally mean well & care alot about your children & their well being. I applaud you for that, and for stepping up and raising your kids!!! Major kuddos to you!! While I know you mean well, this whole situation with your ex & this trip to Fl for the kids to spend time with their birth mother, is well intentioned, but becoming quite out of control with your EX wifes demands. Her demands are ludicris!!!!!! Let me explain, as best I can;
Your ex is playing you buddy!! Shes pretty much made it a game of "play family with me, ill let you see your ex stepdaughter, but only if you pretend we are back together, if only for a few days". I have no idea if that little girl would honestly be there, most likely not!!! She is trying her damnest to get..you...back!!!! Its NOT about you getting to actually see this little girl again, nope She is dangling her daughter like a carrot to you, so that SHE can get YOU back!! Please dont play this sick, twisted game, cause irreprible damage to the ones who truly love you (your wife & kids), just for the off- chance that she might let you see that girl again. You would damage your kids badly by being with their mom again for three whole days. Acting just like a family again, then rip that from them and back to reality that their parents are NOT together anymore. Every, and i do mean every, kid fosters hope that one day their parents could be back together again. Your ex wife knows this. Shes not dumb, she knows how to play YOU!!! Shes betting on the kids falling in love with their family being back together again, and they will beg you to go back to her!!!!! Your wife has even spoke about how your ex Mis-interprets the bible-- to believe that God still sees you married-- cause she was the first wife. Lmao-- Ive read alot if the bible as well-- their are divirces & remarriage in the bible as well. So not the case. Perhaps shes using her daughter, your ex step daughter as an added incentive to get to you. Please dont let this happen.
A compromise, perhaps could be tell her one day, only one day. Do not get chummy with her. At. All. While you are there, and Id cut it to half a day really. Sounds like shes been PASd pretty bad towards you. Give her a card with your version if events,and how much she meant to you. Let her read. Let her try to understand. I know how you feel tho. I was once with a man and got very close with his daughter. She still sees me as her step-mom tho we never married. But I was glad to be able to stay in her life after her dad & i split. So I truly DO understand how painful that must have been to you. Trust me tho, she knows in her heart that you loved her!!! Write her a letter, give tO her, but dont go there and play family!!!! It would hurt her too!!!! You need to tell your ex in every way possible how great and amazing your WIFE is to your crazy EX!!! Tell her about hiw great shes been as tge role of MOM in your home & life. Telll your ex that your WIFe is your priority in every way. If she cant make the trip, call your wife infront of your ex and blabber sweet nothings to your wife!!!!!! Plz plz do that!!! This woman needs to move on, like years ago!!! Better yet , while talking to your wife, have the kids talk to her toi!!! Prove to your ex that she really IS the ex!! Youve beyond moved on!!!
Lastly, I dont know how deeply this whole "go to FL, play family with ex-wife for three days" fantasy must be HURTING your wife!! Id flat out LEAVE my hubby if he ever dared to even think about that!!! Thats crossing almost all marital boundries. Marital boundries to your current wife i mean. Im not trying to be mean, or insensitive to you. Like i said i applaud you raising your kids!!! I just think, strategically, just to see your ex-step daughter, sPend half ONE day at the same place as your ex. Give her tge card & letter No no nO playing "family" tho. Its just WRONG!! Mostly to your kids!!!
Good luck to you, im intetested to know how this turns out. If you get there & theres no step daughter there, kiss your kids & tell them youll call them later!! Dont stay. I personally think shes playing you-- to get you there with you. I dint think the girl will be there. Sorry.
To the wife--- same advice goes, if you do go-- i think you two should go-- for half a day. Show TONS of affection towards hubby & the kids. Lots of " i love yous". Put on a happy happy show girl!! You twi have all the power here-- NOT her!!! Then spend the rest of the trip as a romantic getaway!!
I totally understand your What your Dads going thru & why you want to be there to support him. I lost my Dad 3 yrs ago to cancer. My prayers for your Dad & your family!! Is your Dad stable at this point? If so, Id go with your Dh & show miss coocoo that hes Your hubby. Stand tall with him, proud, resilient, strong & confident!! Love on him & the kids. But most of all show that woman your confidence with your man & YOUR family--- NOT hers!!!!!!!!! She needs a firm kick in the rear , squash all her hopes of getting HER family back together again. Id only go (both of you) for a half a day. Any more time then that is totally rediculous!!
Pleae let us know how it all turns out!! Dont give this crazy woman her fantasy!!!