So, much has been made of your father telling you that you don't come first with him anymore, I do.

Let's be clear.

You didn't just come first with him, you came first with both of us. And we continued to put you first for many years, even when you continued to screw up and we were both so frustrated we didn't know what to do with you.

We continued, both of us, to put you first, right up until the day you walked out of our house to avoid behaving responsibly.

Once you made that choice, exactly what did you expect? Did you seriously think that you could do whatever you wanted, and there would be no consequences in your relationship with your father? When is he supposed to stop putting you first - the day you actually murder him?

I think the day you decide to tell him basically to f*** off is a perfectly appropriate day for him to stop putting you first. It's an appropriate consequence for your choice.

One day you may yourself be a single father. And you may realize how difficult it is to find a partner who puts your children ahead of everything else in life, and dedicates everything she has to their welfare. And if you do realize that, you may also realize what that woman is worth. And the day your child turns his back not only on you, but on that woman who has given everything for him, you may yourself realize that she's proven her loyalty to you over and over and over - while he has proven over and over and over that he simply takes both of you completely for granted.

That's a perfect point to cut your losses with that child and turn away yourself. Because sometimes there's simply nothing more you can do. And it doesn't help to damage yourself further over a person who is committed to a path of insanity.

I would know about that, since I've had to walk away from people I cared about who were too damaged to interact with me in a mutually respectful fashion.

Unfortunately, you've chosen to repeat that dynamic with your father.

If he finally reached the breaking point with you - ask *yourself* why that happened. Ask yourself how much more he was supposed to take and still keep making you his first priority. Ask yourself if it's reasonable to expect him to continue to do that for you, when it was *your* choice to turn your back on him.

No, it's not reasonable. It's disgustingly selfish. And unfortunately not surprising.

I'm not happy about it. I'm also not responsible for it. You are. So stop bitching, and start learning.