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He can't seem to say NO to THE ALBATROSS!

SecondBest09's picture

I wasn’t going to post about this, but I keep stewing and stewing about it and feel like I need to get it off my chest and get some feedback. Our week with the Skids ends this Fri and THE ALBATROSS is supposed to pick them up. SO and I had plans to go out of town this Sat for my BS20 college baseball game. We have been working out and had already talked about how we were going to have to get up at 6 am, do our work out, get ready and be out of the house by 8 am to head to game 3 hours away. We were also supposed to have a date on Fri night to go to dinner at a place I have been wanting to go to forever. So THE ALBATROSS called yesterday and asked if SO could keep the boys Fri night. He apparently told her he would “check to see if we had plans”. I was the one that answered the phone when she called and I took the phone to him, so of course, I asked what she wanted when he came back in. He told me what she asked and I said “well, I thought we did have plans AND we are leaving early Sat morning.” He didn’t say anything else at that time, so I thought the issue was resolved. I guess I thought wrong. Last night he says, “I guess we need to discuss keeping the boys Fri night.” So I remind him AGAIN that we had already planned to go to my BS game Sat morning and that we were getting up early to exercise and we needed to be out of the house by 8 like we had planned. So he says “Well, THE ALBATROSS said she would come pick them up early Sat morn.” I said, well then we’ll have to worry about getting them up and making sure they have their stuff etc and I really didn’t want to add that to what we already had to do Sat morn. I then said, what about our plans for Fri night to go to dinner? He actually said he didn’t know we had plans. I then replayed our conversation to him and he actually said “I didn’t say that.” He didn’t say “I’m sorry, I forgot” or anything of that nature. Just flat out told me he didn’t say that. So, even though we were having a so called “discussion”, not once did he say, “ok, obviously we DO have plans so I will let her know we can’t keep them.” He basically never said anything until I finally said “fine, I don’t want to go Fri night anymore and just make sure she picks the boys up by 7:30 on Sat.” He says, “ok, I will.” Of course, the more and more I thought about it, I realized that, yet again, he does not have the ability to tell THE ALBATROSS “NO” in any capacity and be damned any of the plans he has made with me. And it’s not like we haven’t asked her plenty of times and she has more often than not told him “she already has plans.” So later last night I told him I was really upset that he “forgot” about our plans and that I felt like his mind was made up to tell her “yes” the whole time and he was just waiting on me to say it. Of course THEN he denies everything and says he will tell her “no, that we have plans.” But just an hour before, and basically all day long, he knew we had plans and yet in our “discussion” I felt he was just waiting for me to say yes and when I did, he says “OK”???????
Of course, he ended up telling her this morning that we had plans, but it was only after it became a big ordeal. We have discussed that he needs to discuss these things with me, but in this particular case, I don’t feel there should have been any discussion. I feel he should have told her from the beginning that we had plans. And I realize that it is only dinner with he and I on Fri night and that can easily enough be rescheduled, BUT we rarely go out on “dates” and I was really looking forward to this. And trying to get up and out of the house on Sat morn while waiting around to make sure she shows up at 7:30 a.m. to get skids really wasn’t on my agenda for this weekend either.
UGH! This probably made no sense whatsoever because I keep getting more and more frustrated when I think about it. This man is wonderful in every other way, but when it comes to her, he just can’t seem to form the words “NO”.

dsngrl's picture

It made perfect sense and I would have been FUMING. It is good that he called her back and told her, but thats not the point. Sometimes I think that men just dont get it when it comes to things that are important to us. I dont think he deliberately did it to hurt you, nor did he have it programmed in his head to say "yes" to her. I just think the plans you made for the weekend werent in the front of his brain at the time and maybe he forgot when she asked him? Whatever the case, you have every right to be upset with him. Maybe he'll try harder next time.

Snowflake's picture

Oh wow! I would be PISSED!!! Oh no, my plans come first. She is last on my list, below cleaning the toilets, and so if you don't want your hubby to keep them for an extra night, then he need to tell the albatross no! It is good that he finally came to his senses and said no. EVen if he did it too late, he still did!!! SO I would be happy about that. ANd the bonus is that this probably pissed off the albatross!

My dh used to jump for the troll bm. But now no seems to just roll off his toungue. What is she going to do about it. Whine and stomp her feet. That would only make him laugh at her!

pandalove984's picture

I totally understand what you are going through! I would have been sooo mad! BM always comes at least 1-2 hours late every time she is to pick up skids. And does DH tell her differently? Noo. I ask why, he says he doesn't want to make waves and have her do something drastic like take him back to court for more child support (which she has done in past). She says he drops things with the skids constantly in order to have plans with me, but I don't remember a time that's happened! Our plans are always screwed up because of her! Why is it that they won't say no to their ex but have no problem saying no to us as their wives??