Princess Mofo is the Grinch...
Yes, I am a heartless, selfish, mean-spirited, wretch of a human being because I told DH I would no longer bankroll extracurricular activities for SS that he chooses not to participate in.
Quick background: SS has been enrolled in many extracurricular activities over the years. Most twat waffle signed him up for and blew smoke up dh's ass about ss being so into it. Over the last year the kid has dropped out of soccer, t-ball, and now basketball. All of which I have paid for.
Last night is dh's night with ss. DH informs me that ss doesn't "feel like" going to practice for basketball. And? Your point? His ass needs to go. He needs to stick with something, anything. But no, special snowflake cannot be expected to go if he doesn't want to. So they stayed home. FML.
I informed dh this morning I was done bankrolling this kind of bullshit. We are on a budget. And my bios seem to get the shit end of the stick in this. We can only afford one activity at a time right now for the kids. Thank god my parents pay for oldest bios piano lessons or I would have to forfeit that on account of all the money paid out to ss and twat waffle. Dh threw a hissy fit.
But somehow I'm the asshole in all this. Hey, if you can't see something through to the end then you're a quitter. So twat waffle and dh are raising just that, a quitter...
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Comments
Hey! That sounds like a
Hey! That sounds like a plan! Brilliant!
Yep! And he should be
Yep! And he should be "parent enough and an adult" and make the kid see it through to the end! The minute special snowflake gets "uncomfortable" with something, he quits. And dh sees no problem with that! WTH?!
This skid has two parents,
This skid has two parents, why does DH think it's up to you to pay for his kid's extra activities? Maybe if DH and BM started opening their wallets for the extras they would encourage him more to stick with something to the end. Tell DH that if he does not want to finish something that you spent your hard earned money on, fine, and then write him a receipt for all of the unfinished activities that the skid has bailed on. Tell him in lieu of paying this receipt, you would like to at least see a trophy, or participation badge from anything he has seen through to the end. }:)
Not showing up because he
Not showing up because he didn't feel like it is BS in my book. Even DD7 knows when I sign her up for a sport or an after school activity that we are paying for she goes to every single one of the practices and games. This would royally piss me off.
Good for you not paying anymore.
Why on earth have you been
Why on earth have you been paying for this? DH has a job right? Let him pay it. I assume you have separate accounts.
No, we don't. And there in
No, we don't. And there in lies the problem, I guess.
Split them ASAP!!! I assume
Split them ASAP!!!
I assume you make a lot more than DH...?
My cash flow varies as I am
My cash flow varies as I am in a commission generated business. But I'm the saver, he's the spender. ALWAYS. So when he comes up short, I have to fill the gap. It's bullshit.
Princessmofo, I would
Princessmofo, I would definitely separate finances if I were you. It's not ok that you are the one footing the bill for this skid, when he's not even interested in the things you are paying for. If DH is a big spender, let him spend away, but don't fill in the gaps when he comes up short. You will only be resentful for having to do this, when you are saving, and he is living it up spending. If you are worried about household expenses not being met, I would make him pay you half of the expenses before anything else, and then you can take care of paying the bills out of an account he can't access. This is how DH and I do it, and we never fight about money. Once household expenses are met, I couldn't care less if he spends as much as he wants on anything, and then can't afford gas money. Not my problem at that point. But I would never fund a skids extra curricular activities when they have 2 able parents to do so.
You and Willow are right, I
You and Willow are right, I know you are. I have proposed this on several occasions only to have it balked at by dh. Must be because he knows the gravy train will be coming to a screeching halt if we separated the money.
One likely reason why DH is
One likely reason why DH is so ok with ss just quitting/not bothering with his expensive sport commitments, is BECAUSE *you* subsidise these. I would bet if DH had to go without (read:reign in his spending) and or struggle to pay for these sports ss just has to do, to only then encounter ss being too tired, not feeling like it or wanting to quit which in turn ensures DH is out of pocket, THEN DH would have a problem with it.
Currently it sounds like DH is happy to oblige ss's whims because he has you picking up the financial lack for his frivilous overspend and his child's demands he be enroled in every damn sport he suddenly has an urge to participate in! Yet your own children dont get the same treatment (am not even suggesting you would want your children to have everything they demanded).
I would split your joint account. I have a sneaking suspicion it may resolve your dhs spending or soon would, and dh may put a stop to spoiling his son!
Ask him how many jobs the
Ask him how many jobs the skid is going to go through because he won't feel like going?