BM just told DH to leave me.
BM got upset when the teacher sent the note home for her to return the note she sent for our household. Turns out her and SS made a gift over the weekend and sent it to school today.
Here is the topic on that: http://www.steptalk.org/node/167534
Anyways so BM text me and asked why I emailed the teacher about not getting the note - um hello the teacher emailed me and I simply said no we had not received it...why would I want to get a 3rd party involved?
Well, BM did not like my response and continued to attack me as a person and I simply defended myself and told her I did not need to talk to her and started ignoring her. So she called DH and got DH involved and told DH that I wasn't good to have around his son because I was causing her to cry more and be more stressed out when she has SS around - mind you less than a month ago she called me to try to talk to me about her break up with her boyfriend. She suggested that I leave all of them alone and go on my merry way because I was putting unnecessary stress on her. MIND YOU THE TEACHER EMAILED HER AND BM TEXT ME...I was having a very productive work day.
I'm thinking now that she's single again and others are starting to not only see her true colors but that SS has 3 involved people she is probably going to start sobbing about how she loves DH again.
I admit I shouldn't have responded to her in the first place, and the whole gift thing was wrong in many eyes but it was a innocent non-thought out gesture.
How foolish is she to think her getting upset would have any weight on our marriage? DH's response to me was he knew a fight was brewing with her single again so he thanked me for dealing with it - at least he is light hearted about it.
I sent her one that said she
I sent her one that said she was childish for calling DH. I know I shouldn't have but I was livid.
I knew I shouldn't have
I knew I shouldn't have responded but I guess since she had been playing cordial with everyone though I knew as soon as her and BF busted up she would go nuts I was caught up in work (on a conference call) and wasn't thinking when I responded.
My DH is good about being really light hearted because he knows nothing I do is trying to be vindictive I don't think. I was a stepmom before (yes I know crazy going for round 2 but the ex then and I were cordial and it was never a issue for me to do nice stuff so he knows its just who I am) He responded that he wasn't home and that she clearly had a issue me and not him so he didn't need to be involved and that he thought it was all retarded. He did hang up on her but then she said SS wanted to talk to him and mind you DH had to go to bed early tonight because he starts the 6-6 shift tomorrow rather than 2pm-2am so he got up early today so he took the bait and she kept adding stuff. He is always good about defending me and just telling her she is crazy and hanging up.
DH really does try to keep stuff focused on SS no matter the situation - he really does and tries to keep me out of it as he knows this is our household and knows I try to limit contact even when sitting in the truck for drop-offs before he leaves I am always on my phone.
Tap Dancing CATS. It was not
Tap Dancing CATS. It was not wrong that you sent a small token gift to the teacher at your SS's request. And for pete's sake, remember this one simple thing. You can have reasonable, sane interactions with a reasonable, sane human being. If your DH procreated with someone who is not reasonable and sane....you aren't going to be able to interact with her just as if she was not a total basketcase. You can't polish a turd, and you can't make a functional adult out of a crazy BM. I'm nothing short of amazing, and even I can't do that.
Yep - bad thing is DH was
Yep - bad thing is DH was ready to file for divorce and had went to see a lawyer the day she said she was preggo, and so he stayed longer adding more fuel to her victim fire.
We really try to avoid
We really try to avoid drama...and like I said everything was like no drama not even her arguing about the normal minuet things while she was dating but now she is single so the focus is back on being a victim.
I read your other post, I
I read your other post, I think what you did was absolutely above board and really sweet, BM overreaction was driven by her internal emotional distress and that's 100% her issue to deal with, she's an a awful cow for turning the situation into a stressful mess!
The BM I deal with is very much like yours, I would secretly love for SO to tell her that he will only respond to anything strictly SD related, anything else needs to be discussed with a therapist, so fuck off with your nonsense. Lol
DH really tries to keep all
DH really tries to keep all communication focused on SS and the thing is she called when SS had just got out of school so I think he thought it was SS calling not BM.
I have looked it up actually
I have looked it up actually because of my father...and she does fit the shoe.
DH does have pretty good boundries. He makes sure everything is related to a need of SS. Like I said in another post she called right as school was getting out and played the fact that supposedly SS wanted to talk to him. He makes sure that most communication if not about SS is ended immediately and it's normally her trying to make small talk at exchanges and he says he has plans and has to run.
I have tried to follow his lead like I said I slipped up.
You didn't do anything wrong.
You didn't do anything wrong. The people who count-ss and the teacher-appreciated it.
Hopefully someone will tell her to get help. Like, a judge or her lawyer. Or dh if necessary.
During the divorce the judge
During the divorce the judge suggested she get counseling to help because of some of the erratic claims she was making and we live in a small town so people know who DH really is and not her story. She said she would take it the judge even set up a meeting and she didn't go. I think at this point she's just a lost cause.
DH told her to focus on SS.
DH told her to focus on SS. He doesn't argue with her really anymore he knows it isn't worth it.
It's funny I have the
It's funny I have the patience to not argue with DH unless we are in the bedroom alone or in the truck but he's about the only one I have the patience for, as I know with us it will all be ok if we just let is settle and talk later.
I already am planing the
I already am planing the Christmas gifts - and this time even the principle the principle was my principle when I was a child so I think that she deserves a gift as well. They will be sent the Friday we have SS before DH leaves right before Christmas. I know it sounds bad but it motivated me lol
Update: I got really mad when
Update: I got really mad when she called DH and told her I thought what she did was childish - again I know I shouldn't have contacted her again but I was just so mad because it's like if I am woman enough to deal with stuff she should be too and today was just a long day all around so I was at my end. She text back "Leave me alone" and then put "Darlin I'm done with you I'll do what I want" and I responded with "whatever" She called the cops saying I was harassing her because I responded after she said stop. =
So now there is no issue there is no way either one of us can contact each other mind you she initiates most communication that is unnecessary I will say as you can see in my other post I had asked about lunch but that was it.
I know I shouldn't have responded in the first place but as I posted above I was on a conference call and she had sent several text so I just wanted to shut her up. I know I shouldn't have said anything about her calling DH but it had set me off that she was that low. I just can't stand having other people drug into drama or drama in general. As this was absolutely ridiculous. I guess I am relieved it is over but I know shes going to be telling SS about her calling the cops and I'm sure she is playing the complete victim to everyone to try to ruin my name again - over a one word response to her instigating. I do have the text documented and saved in PDF and on my phone so I guess if anyone wants the truth I can show it.
But I really appreciate the support here and I know that DH kind of laughed at the situation and told me that my dreams of no more BM had almost came true as now for 3 weeks at a time I am not going to ever deal with her again. DH knows that BM is nuts and I do too but I slipped up and now it's determined that I won't again and there is still nothing against the teacher emailing me about the note....or me helping SS do Christmas gifts as long as DH is home. It's my little childish thing to want to do them - mind you I have always done gifts for my bosses and I do around 40 Christmas cards to distant family/friends every year and have since I was 18 and moved out of the house where my mom did them so it's not that I'm doing it because of her but it is a push for me to make them nicer.
I would suggest that you nore
I would suggest that you nore DH engage with her except on two topics. First of course is anything that has to do with the Skids. And second and most fun .. to bare her idiot ass with the facts of her own behavior which you will address by firmly beating her about the had and shoulders with a rolled up copy of the CO, a rolled up copy of any supplemental county rules and a rolled up copy of the state regulations.
Other than that, just laugh at her idiocy.