Another thing that popped up that proves the theory?
The kids have not been allowed to drive the car (that was supposed to help and save drives) over to my house. It's gone so far that they have not been allowed to drive this car even to school and back from his house on his week. He would drive them to the mall and make them take a city bus and then pick them up. I guess so they couldnt come here or do anything else after school it seems
Ie said they're not allowed to have this car here overnight so it means the car is never drove here on transition drives to save us any driving and also means it's never here for them to use. But that was supposed to be the whole idea
So tonight we usually did the Tuesday thing where the girls stayed over night becaise we've been doing it for a couple years. He doesn't like this any more. My daughter has to work til 930pm tonight. I asked the girls last night and my daughter said she wanted to stay over since she's working late. It's easier.
Well.. Suddenly guess who is allowed to take their dad's precious car to school all of the sudden. My daughter, the one who said she wanted to stay over... Now suddenly has her dads car he allowed her to drive it over here. So that she can drive to his house after work.
Even though she said she wanted to stay over.
How convenient
Is this not obvious to my daughters
What a weirdo playing manipulation games with his kids
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My other daughter has a
My other daughter has a school concert near my house. Her dad is picking her up here to bring her. Then back to his house. It would be nice to go and ask him what's going on... Hahhhh
Then be probably won't let
Then be probably won't let them drive it any other day just because he didn't want her to stay over tonight. Well that's what it sure seems like
To me it seems like he's using this car as a tool to suit his agendas pd controlling the kids
Start networking to get a
Start networking to get a reasonbly priced car for your DD's to use and cut off your X's nose to spite his face. He is a manipulator. Take that away from him on the car topic. You maintain ownership of the car you provide but give the girls some autonomy appropriate for their age and approaching adult status.
Block XH and let him blow a gasket. Make sure the girls know that they can use the car that you provide to drive too and from school, work, and your home. If they choose to stay instead of going back to daddy's house on Tuesday's, great.
IMHO of course.
I want to take him out of the
I want to take him out of the equation as much as possible so it means getting them a car so they can do what they want, so be it. It will have no strings attached. I don't know yet though.
It seems like this is ex's
It seems like this is ex's way of ensuring his visitation is maintained. It isn't about making it easier on anyone, it's about manipulating the situation to ensure the girls end up back at his house instead of choosing other options.
It does very much seem that
It does very much seem that way
When do they turn 18?
My youngest with my ex just turned 15 a few weeks ago. I have three years to go
They just turned 17
They just turned 17
it's all about control but if
it's all about control but if he squeezes them too hard it will backfire on him.
It makes me feel a bit sick.
It makes me feel a bit sick. I want to say something to him but it won't end well or help.
I'm for driving his
I'm for driving his increasing irrelevance. Take his ability to manipulate away... one step at a time.
And then the other thing is I
And then the other thing is I just let them use my car as needed. So it's not an excuse. They can do what they want and don't have to return this dumb car back to their dad
On top of that my other
On top of that my other daughter had a music recital. The concert is 5 minutes from my house. She was at my house after school. I assumed she'd stay for dinner then her dad would bring her from here to go to the concert .
Nope. He picked her up at my house and brought her back to his house for dinner. So 2 hours of driving. Him to my house to pick her up, 30 mins for him to get here. 30 mins to get to his house. Then when they leave another 30 mins to get back to the concert near my house and another 30 to go back home.
Slippery Slope
It sounds as if he's afraid of the slippery slope. He knows that's it's easier for the girls to just stay at your house after work. And also to have dinner at your house before a recital. And he's worried that an exception here and an exception there will result in him losing what the time he has with them before they turn 18 and move on (out?) to college.
You're trying to give them freedom and flexibility. But that seems to lean at least slightly toward them skipping visits with him. He probably thinks you're doing it to limit his time and influence. So he says no, and is determined to follow the CO. Even when maybe it makes more sense to give a little. Which makes him look controlling and unreasonable. He's worried that a little flexibility soon becomes throwing out the CO and the kids kind of come and go as they like.
if it's any consolation, the opposite may happen with your son. Since his school and sports are likely to be by Dad you will be able to point out any hypocrisy if he suddenly finds flexibility in the CO in his favour.
One more year.
True thanks.
True thanks.
He has been helping drive my
He has been helping drive my son over on my full weeks as my sons school is at the opposite end. I help with some of the girls drives to his house on his week.
So what I will probably do is just stop relying on my ex for the drives of my son on my week.
My husband and I will do all of the drives for my son that week so that I don't have to rely on my a$$ of an ex husband. Im not relying on him for anything any more
It sucks because I'm often tired or feeling bad from chemo and whatnot but I don't care
It will be worth it to not have to deal with him
My son turns 16 he'll have his license after that which will be "game changer"