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Facebook ---Wakeup there is a motive

godess-clueless's picture

Does anyone use common sense anymore? Does anyone think before they click the "accept" for people they stopped having contact with years ago? Does anyone ever wonder about the reason they have been selected to be a friend?

I have facebook. My only friends are some present family members. Even though I come from a family of 10 siblings, I only have 15 'friends."

I keep reminding myself that my 60 year old views are outdated. Yet it is mindboggling to me when I see the "accepted" friends on my DH's family side. Is it any wonder that many wives feel there is no room for them in the family since wife #1 never moves out of the family?

In the old days, a past wife, girlfriend or casual acquaintance had to put some effort and thought into how she was going to remain "in your face." Examples---Dh ended a 2 year relationship when he met me. She was a woman who lived at her own place," played wife" when she came over 2x week. This woman put effort into keeping tabs on DH's life. I knew every year on his birthday she sent a birthday card to him complete with her cell phone # and a boo hoo letter of her undying love. [went right in the garbage]

What I did not know at the time was that this person began writing and phone calls to DH's family. They lived 2 thousand miles away. She met them once. She started the contact with DH's 80 yr old mom. She knew to zoom in on a lonely old lady when everyone else avoided her. That took effort.

Now days there is little effort needed. As I said---boggles my mind.
If an ex family member or friend that you ceased to have contact with years ago sends a friend request, there is a motive.

If adult sc is suggesting their parent as a friend to the people who are now your inlaws, there is a motive.

If the woman that was having an affair with your son, and almost caused a divorce, sends you a friend request---there is a motive. [In this particular case , it is an on going competition to comment on every new entry or picture---marking territory???]

Comments

Anon2009's picture

"This woman put effort into keeping tabs on DH's life. I knew every year on his birthday she sent a birthday card to him complete with her cell phone # and a boo hoo letter of her undying love. [went right in the garbage]."

Does she have kids? She sounds like some poor soul's nutty bm!

godess-clueless's picture

Lots of nutty bm's out there. That particular one had adult children and at the time was just one of the in
between girlfriends DH had while not married. Older does not always mean wiser. Some people remain juvenile acting all their life

oldone's picture

Older person here (late 60s) - I can personally vouch that older does not mean wiser. The people who were idiots at 16 for the most part still are idiots 50 years later.

My DH and I though both have hundreds of friends on FB - many of whom I do not know. For political and professional reasons. I do not post anything personal. My FB profile makes me look very good. No lies but I would never post there about my SS being a drunk.

Aeron's picture

Funny, I just got a friend invite from my BIL's ex. A woman I've never met, have never spoken to, and based on what I've heard, never want to. I looked at DH and went Who Is this? He tells me. I sit there dumbfounded that they would think to try and 'friend' me. What makes it even funnier is I'm not even 'friends' with BIL. We have a mutually agreed upon stance of ignoring each other. But then, there's a lot of crazy in the world.

oneoffour's picture

I have about 150 friends. Most of them are family as my fam are on the other side of the world so FB is a good way to keep in touch and in the loop with our aging parents.
I have a few school friends and the grown kids of my best friend and previous work friends. Oh and one old boyfriend who is now happily living with his partner Justin in another country.
No crazy in-laws. No crazy ex gfs of DH. Although I would like to check out how his high school sweetheart panned out in the fullness of time (just nosey like that).
It is a tool to stay in the loop and nothing more. I can source out pics of my family. I tweaked some pretty pictures of my neices wedding day only 12 hrs after the ceremony and flicked them back to the family. It works wonderfully like this. But FB wars? Pft! I just do NOT have the time.