Hell paid me a visit again yesterday..

DH brought SD again yesterday.. 

SD refused to come into the house, Instead she took a chair and sat in the yard in the hot sun when I saw that I asked her to come into the house and sit she said, No !! I good right here!! 

SD didn't speak to me instead she used her father to relate to me however I spoke directly to her, I asked if she wanted food she said No! I good! But eventually went to neighbour's house and ate

Where do I start... not much has changed on the weekend schedules for us. We maybe have an extra night together which doesn't make that much difference..... I'm really questioning whether or not this life is for me. Step parenting a child who has no respect for anyone is so hard. Why am I expected to love and treat this child as my own when really we haven't connected at all since our new baby was born. There's been a few instances of carelessness on SS behalf with the new baby which were quite dangerous and I would just not want to risk anything happening to my child.

It's just so back and forth. One day SO is ready to get help for SS from the SSs grandmother. The next day she thinks she can just do it on her own. Either way, nothing I say or do matters. I'm back to feeling just exhausted by it all today. I started getting mental health services just a little over a decade ago, and my SO just feels like everything I say is just criticizing her, or being a know it all and it's like... I mean I know a thing or two.... I say nothing, nothing changes, and I say something, nothing changes. Which... fine, but then stop crying to me about it.