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Decison time: should I break up with my boyfriend?

GurlfriendJen25's picture

I am a 25 year old woman, my boyfriend is 33 years old with a 12 year old son. We have been together 7 years.

To be honest, him having a kid has always been an issue for me. When we got together I was really young (18) and just pushed any issues to the back of my mind since I loved him and was young and silly. I thought that him having a kid would be something I would eventually get used to.

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My stepson’s a bully

garagaragoo's picture

My husband and I both have 11 year old sons from our previous relationships. My husband's children only comes once every two weeks. My kids and I have just moved to Australia for 4 months and I can't stand my husband's son. He is a bully and my husband admits that. Another problem is my husband isn't fair with disciplining our kids. This morning my son told me that he was locked outside the house for a while while we we're still in bed. His son said he 'forgot' that my son was left outside. Wtf, sorry for the language but I'm absolutely feeling so angry. He got away with it.

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DH wants to relinquish parental rights!

Jordan3312's picture

This isn't the first time the subject of relinquishing his parental rights has been brought up. Last year when DH got home from a 9 month deployment, we briefly had a discussion about "what if." But yesterday DH said he's actually going to file a petition. It's not that he doesn't love SS5, but that he wants absolutely nothing to do with BM anymore and he said the court system is failing to do their job. He's tired and exhausted and just wants it to stop. 

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Does it ever get better?

Jordan3312's picture

So SS5 is visiting for 10 days while he's on Fall break. Last time he was here it was for 2 and a half months over the summer so the 10 days shouldn't seem like a big deal. But this time I have a 7 week old newborn daughter and my husband doesn't have off of work. My mother-in-law is here to take care of SS while DH is at work, but I still just want the house to myself so I can focus on my daughter. She's an absolute delight, not fussy, and is almost sleeping through the night, so it's not that I couldn't handle SS and my baby girl, but I really just want alone time with her.

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Am i a horrible person?

D_R_96's picture

I feel like a horrible person, i cant find a way to talk to anyone about this. if i talk to my friends i feel like they are agreeing because its the friendly thing to do. If i talk to my significant other he shuts down and it becomes an argument. I am 23 years old and i have been with my boyfriend for 4 years and i am 3 months pregnant . when we first met his son was great we had no issues and we got along great. However we ended up separating for acouple months and when we decided to try things out again his son was a whole different person.

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Late Night Thoughts/Conviction

Jordan3312's picture

So I'm doing my casual late-night Facebook scrolling when I see a post by someone I don't know. I'm one of those people that unless I've met you, I will not accept your friend request. So I clicked on the profile to figure out who it was. It turns out that it's SS's grandmother (BMs mom). I'm not sure when or how we became fb friends, but curiosity got the better of me and I started scrolling down her feed. She doesn't post much and everything she does post is about SS, but most of her stuff was from 4 years ago back when SS was just a baby. 

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Looking for some support

811Mom's picture

This is my first time on a stepparent forum but I have no friends or support system who understand the difficulties of being a SM. I have a 9 y/o SS and I’ve been with his dad since he was 3. His dad and i are now married with our own child. SS’s dad has always had partial custody (every other weekend and holidays), so it’s never really felt like there’s much structure when SS is with us... it’s like our house turns into a fun zone for him and my husband is wanting him to not be bored.

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Overwhelmed Expectant Mother

Jordan3312's picture

This is my first blog post. I came across this site after posting on a wives Facebook page and I was immediately met with harsh critisism. Over a hundred people I don't even know we're telling me what a horrible person I am. It truly broke my heart. One of the comments suggested that I go to a Blended Family page instead, and talk to those who could be more understanding. So here I am, and depending on how this goes, I may be needing to post more. I know I'm going to have so many questions in the future. 

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Is he serious?!

Anxious26's picture

I apologise in advance for daring to mention Christmas in July but my boyfriend has just sprung an idea on me which has left me feeling incredulous and then a few days later came up with another ‘bright idea’ which makes me think he only cares how his own child is affected. My bf has shared care so has his son for 7 days every two weeks. He has his own flat and stays there with him but stays with us on the Saturdays.

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