I married my first husband for the same reason that I think most people do. I was in my mid-20s and ready fo start my life. He was kind, ambitious, and funny. We were good partners. But we weren't in love. At least I wasn't. I'm a sceptic, and I was raised by parents who should never have been married but belonged to a generation and culture that didn't consider divorce an option. I didn't really believe in "head over heels" love until I met my second and current husband. I should say when I re-met my second husband.

I'm not too angry or upset on this, but partly a rant. Adult SS lives with us and brought his two cats. Please note he said he'd be there for a few months, but to me it's bull cr*p as it's three years now.

So he doesn't work hasn't for two years but that's another story.

Years ago, my big sister told me, "I never let go of something I can't afford to lose."  She said she never wanted money or material things to ruin a relationship, so although she was always pretty generous about helping people out, she never loaned, gave, or let people borrow anything she would be upset about never seeing again.  Good stuff. I adopted that rule and made it my own long ago.  I haven't always upheld it in my weaker moments, but I always consider it when I'm faced with a decision on where to spend my time, money, and energy.  It helps ward off unnece

I've been with hubby for the last 9 years. He had already ended his 29 year marriage to a highly dysfunctional woman (she physically attacked him on a number of occasions), but he remained to ensure his daughter and son had a good childhood, education and step on to a career path for full independence. He did a good job and has many happy memories of them as youngsters, but that seems to be his only comfort now.

I thought being a step mom to grown children would be easier. they are 19, 20, and 24.. we can talk right? well, no. they are passive aggressive. I am constantly left out of events, pictures. there is not a single picture of me on their facebook pages and their dad and I have been together for 10 yrs. I had organized a father's day dinner for them and their significant others. All I asked for was their phone numbers so I could contact them and invite them myself. No one sent me their numbers. I was once again ignored. I cancelled the dinner. they were pissed. But you know what?

I’m not entirely sure this is where I post for advice. It’s my first post, but after 4 years- I need some advice. My youngest step son will be 20 soon and has been out of school for a year. In general we have a great relationship. I’m only 10 years older so I understand some of the social situations he gets into better than his father does. However- we are polar opposites. When i got married I assumed he would be going to college, or working, living with a girlfriend, hanging out with friends or at the very least DRIVING by 20... nope.

I’m losing patience. Urgh! Need to vent!!!

Step son who is 30 years old and his son who is 12 lives with us. He has a decent paying job. Works overtime. He DOES NOT pay rent or help with the utilities. He buys food for himself and his son. He doesn’t clean up after himself. He and his son rarely does any housekeeping. He lets his 12 year old son smoke cigarettes. He comes home from work and asks his dad what’s for dinner! I thought to myself you gotta be kidding me.

Hi,

Hello everyone! I am new to the site, although I have been reading others post for several weeks and let me say how good it feels to not feel alone in being pushed past the breaking point with SK. Its a breath of fresh air knowing I am not the only person who feels like this! That being said, there's a topic I haven't found much reading on and I'd like some advise so here it goes:

Has anyone had their step children lie about them to other family members? Then the other family members shun you?