I am new here...Long story short...I have 3 step kids SD11, SS7, SD4. Been with DH since his littlest one turned 2. Its a roller coaster I tell ya. We have them every other weekend. He pays OUT HIS A$$ to her. Many many issues here. He doesnt make a lot but she keeps winning in court...fine, fair enough...so when he asks her to buy them nice clothes for events that we have to take them to she intentionally sends them here with clothes that barely fit them so that I have to use my pay to buy them what they need. Doesn't his support go towards their clothing? NO MATTER where they are wearing it to?
2nd issue - BM mentioned to SD11 to call her dad on our off weekend. She said her mother suggested that he do dinner with them. He couldnt (it was Thanksgiving weekend) because he had offered to take a 2nd shift at work and work a weekend that he didnt have them. HE DID ask to take them on Thanksgiving which she said no and that they had plans. Fine. Then we get a message saying that SD is figuring out that people make choices and that it was her father's choice to not see them that day and do dinner with them so she had to take her to her therapist (the 11 year old has been in therapy for 3 years mind you)to deal with his choice. OMG. He responded to her that he didnt disapoint her and to come to us first before putting thoughts into their heads. It wasnt even his weekend with them AND he wanted to see them on Thankgiving! she drives me nuts but i bite my tongue. The SD shouldnt even be IN therapy anymore. She tells me that she doesnt want to discuss the divorce anymore and said she is happy her dad married me (even though I know she would love for her parents to be back together, what little girl wouldnt?).
3rd issue - I love the SD11. She is so sweet and smart. BUT I read her journal as she asked me to and one story was about how she was happiest when her parents were together and that she "Had the best life ever" . She then wrote that she wasnt mad at anyone for any of the decisions they made. OMG my heart sunk into my chest. My guilt sometimes takes over and then i clam up and shut everyone out. Its so hard to deal with that. I love my DH to DEATH and we are soulmates (dont gag) but sometimes I just want these kids to be happy in their old scenario, even though DH hates BM and vice versa. I just feel so bad. Then I feel anger then i feel frustration...Bitter battle inside.
4th issue - 4 year olds are NIGHTMARES!!!! She is the only one I cannot deal with. She literally had a temper tantrum the other day because her toenails werent painted and she felt like she looked UGLY before going to a party! She was crying and screaming. This kind of stuff happens all the time...i dont even know where she gets it from because her mother is frumpy. Anyway, just needed to vent. I dont look forward to every other weekend...I try to be the best step mom I can be but i never so much as hear a thank you or get a card made for me on special days or anything from them. They get here, walk on by me and not even a simple hello comes out of their mouths. He has to tell them to say good bye to me on Sundays and to give me a hug. It hurts...you know? I am the one putting a roof over their head, buying their favorite treats, paying for their clothes when DH isnt bringing home a paycheck because she gets it all...Just don't know how to address these issues...Its like they can take me or leave me...so i feel the same way about them now.