Is it okay

to go to the child custody hearing with my FH? His divorce will be final in 2 weeks and the hearing is on the 24th of Nov. I want to be there to support him through this time but dont want to jeopardize him getting full custody of his boys either. If you can give me some advice on this I would love it. Thanks in advance

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I went....

to the court house for moral support, but I sat down in the cafe, while he was in the court room. Custody affects our lives as stepmoms too. But having him actually go in the courtroom alone does look better to some judges. You can sit outside maybe and wait for the outcome, and this way your still there for him, without "intruding". JMO. "~waiting on the world to change~"

Yeah

thats what I will do. Thanks alot Chel

You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.
Sir Winston Churchill..

i went in the courtroom

my DH really needed the moral support and at the time, i was his fiancee so i think i had my place. i didnt interject in anything though, i just sat in the back. he really needed me there and is happy i was there to support him. i dont think our presence would jeopardize anything, especially if we are the future step moms. would did ur lawyer say? and good luck to him!

"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin

FH? What is an FH?

Fubar,

I have seen the FH acronym but am not quite sure what it stands for. If it stands for Future Husband then I would be a bit hesitant to accompany him in to the court room. Judges can take issue with "the other woman" during divorce and custody proceedings.

In our case it was a moot point. Bio-Dad moved to exclude witnesses because he did not want his Mommy to learn about some of the stupid crap he regularly pulled. The court room was cleared of all but the two parties (Bio-Dad and Bio-Mom) and their attorneys. The rest of us were put in to two different witness waiting rooms (Paternal and Maternal)and called in individually to testify. There was actually a police officer sitting in a chair between the rooms to make sure

You may not have the option of being in the court room if either party moves to have witnesses excluded.

Chel Bel is right IMHO. Be there to support but stay out of the court room unless called in to testify.

Good luck and best regards,

I would love

to go in with him as he will need it. But I want to help him by being there but like crayon said I dont want to look like an ass either. So maybe I will write him down things to say and let him read over them, I love him but he gets so tongued tied at times. As for a lawyer we dont have a child custody lawyer we just filed in the court system and they gave us a date to be there.Because the BM wasnt letting FH see the children and the only way she did last two times we had to pay her. Though he never misses a month and hes not court ordered to pay CS but he does.He was going to be 2 weeks late paying her and she wasnt having it, so to see the kids we had to pay when she said. The laws in our state is crazy, but I dont see how we are not a party when we are going to be the ones to raise them if we get full custody. How is it if we didnt carry them for 9 months have them but we raise them like our own and treat them like they were we arent a party to them. Between the court system and BM they make us SM's like stepmats. Pisses me off thinking about it..

You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.
Sir Winston Churchill..

it depends on the type of proceedings

ours was very informal...it was the hearing after mediation to basically sign off on the agreement HOWEVER BM started w more abuse accusations so we had 2 sunsequent follow up hearings. it wasnt a full blown custody battle. i would consult w an attorney anyway, u can usually do that for free.

"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin

StepDads are not a party to the case either.

I got the same crap from Judges at least twice. Both judges who informed me that I am not a party to the case asked me to provide a statement of my income. I told them "since I am not a party to the case then my money is irrelevent and I will not provide any information on my income since it is none of the court's or Bio-Dad's business what I make." The judges loved that and threatened to hold me in contempt and put me in jail until I complied by providing proof of my income.

So, just because we steps contribute no genetic material to the child and we "are not a party to the case" our money, homes, time and liability for the childs wellfare can all be set, manipulated and controlled at some level by the idiots that sit on the Family Law bench on our great country.

So, as a step be ready to bend over and take one up the tail pipe without the courtesy of a reach around from the morons in the black robes. We have no say but can have all of the responsibility.

Just my opinion of course.