You are here

Love & Logic - Anyone try it?

Wicked2Three's picture

Has anyone heared of or tried Love & Logic? I have used it with my kids and it's great. They have a very humorus way of relaying very important parenting information. SOme of the stories can really give you a bad case of the giggles.

http://www.loveandlogic.com

From the web site:
What Is Love and Logic All About?

The Love and Logic Institute is dedicated to making parenting and teaching fun and rewarding, instead of stressful and chaotic. We provide practical tools and techniques that help adults achieve respectful, healthy relationships with their children. All of our work is based on a psychologically sound parenting and teaching philosophy called Love and Logic.

What Is Love and Logic?

Children learn the best lessons when they're given a task and allowed to make their own choices (and fail) when the cost of failure is still small. Children's failures must be coupled with love and empathy from their parents and teachers.

This practical and straightforward philosophy is backed with 30 years of experience. Parents can apply it immediately to a wide range of situations instead of struggling with difficult counseling procedures.

Who's Behind It?

Jim Fay - founder and former school principal - view biography
Foster W. Cline, M.D. - founder and psychiatrist - view biography
Charles Fay, Ph.D. - president and school psychologist - view biography

Why Does It Work?

Uses humor, hope, and empathy to build up the adult/child relationship
Emphasizes respect and dignity for both children and adults
Provides real limits in a loving way
Teaches consequences and healthy decision-making

Mary Louise's picture

I love it and have recommended that dh read it. He is reading it in fits and starts, but he is supportive of me implementing the ideas. He especially enjoys how quickly the results can be seen.

I recommend it to anyone who wants to make the extra effort to try it.

Wicked2Three's picture

I called the Love & Logic institute one day when I had had enough of the BM. They reccomended an audio CD about power struggles and because I have so many other audio CD's from them it was a bit of a repeat. Still good though! What I fail to remember is that the method can be applied to anyone. Unfortunately at this time my frustration with BM has to do with DH because she and I have no communcation. In 5+ years we may have spoken 3 sentences to eachother. Now I have to create a realtionship with this women so I can tell her how it's gonna' be. LOL It's probably the least I can do for DH. He's tired of dealing with her.

Wicked2Three's picture

My favorite is...."I knoooooow" LOL They just don't know what to do!

Wicked2Three's picture

On the heels of Tiger Woods recent win I thought I'd do a little research on him. What I was really looking for was the Nike commercial where his dad is talking about him. What I found was the following. I hope nobody minds me sharing this. I thought it was very Love & Logic and very sweet. It's from and interview with his dad on parenting. I really like the part about earning respect.

In raising a precocious prodigy toward unparalleled success in golf and in life, Earl Woods was decidedly different. And here’s how:

• Earl believed in praising a child for effort, not for accomplishment. Likewise, he didn’t believe in or practice criticizing his son for defeats or failures. He reported that he only scolded his son once on the golf course—for basically giving up down the stretch of a junior tournament. “Don’t ever quit. Ever. If you don’t want to finish, then don’t sign up to play.” For all the championships and victories, the most amazing Tiger accomplishment is his all-time record of making 146 consecutive cuts. That means he stayed so focused and gave so much effort in every tournament that even when he didn’t have his best stuff, he still played well enough to make the cut into the weekend. For 146 tournaments. No one in the history of golf has even come close.

• For a dad so involved in his son’s sports life, Earl saw golf as merely a vehicle to teach life lessons. “My purpose in raising Tiger was not to raise a golfer. I wanted to raise a good person.” Golf was a way to learn about personal integrity, focus, commitment (it’s the only sport where you have to call penalties on yourself). His greatest thrill was not seeing Tiger win the Masters; it was seeing the Tiger Woods Foundation open the $25M Tiger Woods Learning Center, an institute for inner-city kids. Unlike so many parents, Earl didn’t see sport as a way to earn a good life; he saw it as a way to learn one.

• Earl believed that parenting meant creating a relationship involving both trust and respect. He said that trust was something granted, while respect was something earned. And just when you thought you might anticipate his explanation of that philosophy, Earl the former baseball player threw a curve at you. Children don’t need to earn parents’ respect—it’s the other way around, Earl explained. With an impassioned plea, Earl believed that it is we parents who have to earn each of our child’s respect, by listening, sharing, and caring.

• In a remarkable example of giving his child the space to make his own decisions (and then learn from the consequences), Earl began to tell Tiger that if he wanted to play in a golf tournament he would have to load all of his clubs and equipment into the car. At this point Tiger was eight years old. Earl recounts that there were a few times when he was backing out of the driveway, headed to a tournament an hour away, knowing for certain that young Tiger had forgotten his clubs. He had to work extremely hard to hold his tongue during the entire drive, but he wouldn’t say a word about it. And when they would finally arrive at the tournament only to discover the empty trunk, Earl wouldn’t have to point out Tiger’s mistake. And all the way home, he’d work hard to resist the urge so many of us give into: the urge of “I told you…”