So we got back from our annual trip to the lake last week. I have to say that for me this was one of the nicest vacations we’ve had and I’ve been vacationing with the Skids for 6 years. That doesn’t mean there weren’t any rough patches but this year I went into it with a whole different mindset.

I promised myself before we left that I would do 2 things for myself each day we were on vacation. The first was going for a daily 30-minute run and the second was taking time out to read. Well I’m happy to report that I did both and boy did it make a difference in my attitude.

I have been stepping back from my SSons for awhile now, I wouldn’t call it disengagement since I still do some things for them, anyway, I have been working hard at letting go of a lot of things that used to set me off.

Example, the boys never have enough clothes for the 10-day trip. Normally, I’d nag DH till I got him to get more clothes from BM. This year I just told DH and SSons once and didn’t mention it again. So SSons (SS15 & SS10) ran out of clothes. When they complained, the DH solution was to pick clothes out of the laundry to wear (there’s no washer/dryer were we stay). Fine with me & DH, but the boys didn’t like it. Maybe they’ll remember to bring extra clothes next year.

I also stopped picking up after everyone. The only time I cleaned was if the mess would damage the cottage. As it turned out the boys left the bathroom floor soaking wet after their showers. Fine. I mopped it up because I didn’t want the hardwood to be ruined. DH asked what happened and I calmly told him. He then went off on the boys for not cleaning up after themselves.

As the vacation went on I noticed DH was more peeved with SSons’ attitudes each day. The boys would rather watch TV than go tubing, swimming, fishing, hiking or biking. All of these activities DH wanted to do and was looking forward to doing with SSons. DH lost it on Friday and took away their iPods and the TV – which he should have done way earlier on the trip (IMHO). I repeated to DH more than once that it’s their vacation too and if they choose to watch TV that’s their business but we can still have a good time without them after all it’s our vacation too.

So DH and I got to spend a fair amount of time alone together, biking & boating etc., because the boys didn’t want to turn off the TV. I think DH is beginning to realize that all the catering he does for SSons has created 2 very entitled, spoiled boys. At one point DH told the boys that he was sick of their give-me-give-me attitude. DH told them that he was sick of having to jump every time they wanted something when in return the boys didn’t do the same for DH (or I) when he/we asked them to do something.

I think this vacation was a real eye-opener for DH. I also feel that by stepping back DH has had to confront a lot of issues with SSons that were easily swept under the rug or blamed on my nagging in the past.

~BettyRay