We bought Ssons new summer outfits and shoes recently. FH and I agreed that the clothes would stay at our house. As both boys needed new tennis shoes, we agreed that they could wear those to BM’s.

Well SS6 wore one of his new outfits home. Fine, I know he’ll wear them back here – he’s good about remembering stuff like that. But what I’m bent about is that FH is okay with him wearing the clothes to BM’s after we agreed that the clothes would stay here. I explained to FH how I feel, basically like what we agreed upon meant nothing, now he feels bad. His perspective is that they should wear the clothes out, and I agree, but I think FH should have waited till after vacation to let Ssons wear the clothes to BMs.

It’s the condition the clothes will be returned to us in that I’m dreading. BM doesn’t scrub stains out and throws everything in the dryer. I have this sinking feeling that the outfit will be all pigged up when he wears it back here. I spend a lot of time bleaching socks and scrubbing out stains from the clothes BM sends them to us in. I just wanted them to have a couple of nice new outfits for the vacation we’re taking in a couple of weeks.

Conversely, SS11 refused to wear the new tennis shoes we bought him back to BMs house. He told us he wanted to keep them here and wear them for church and basketball as they are name-brand athletic shoes. So we agreed, I reluctantly.

Well…SS11 told BM that we wouldn’t let him wear the shoes to her house. So she ran out and bought both Ssons new tennis shoes as well. I knew this is what SS11 was going to do. Play all of us so he could get 2 new pairs of tennis shoes. I had told FH my reservations and FH felt that we had to trust SS11 to do the right thing. Fine.

When BM asked FH why they were not allowed to wear the tennis shoes FH and I bought them to her house FH told BM that we had wanted Ssons to wear the shoes to her place as well. When they (FH and BM) confronted SS11 about this he said that he just wanted to wear the shoes FH and I bought for church and basketball. Fine.

SS11 was over last weekend and wore the tennis shoes we bought him ALL weekend. FH said nothing. When I pointed this out to FH, I told him that if he let this slide it will be just the beginning of SS11 playing all of us to get what he wants. FH agreed and will be talking to SS11 this week when we have the boys for the evening.

I’m really struggling today, and I know logically the clothes and shoes issue is petty. It’s that FH didn’t listen to what I had to say – emotionally that is what’s driving me nuts.

~BettyRay