Holy sh*t -- what a joke!!
I just had to ASK -- for the 3rd time -- for an apology from SS for breaking my soap dispenser.
H reminds him. SS ignores H. I call SS out on the fact that he just ignored his father AND he still owes me an apology. SS finally, after protesting that he doesn't owe me an apology, finally spits out a, "sorry" like the petulant fucking little piece of shit he is.
What does H do?
NOTHING!!
So I called H out on it -- right in front of his son. "Good job DAD! Way to teach your kid that he's not responsible for ANYTHING and to let him get away with half-assed apology!"
SS is now having a total fucking melt-down in his room and H is... you guessed it: coddling him.
I swear to God I am about to lose my mind!!!
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I'm about to take a hammer to
I'm about to take a hammer to some shit up in this house and show some mother fuckers just how sorry they should be!!! Then when they are all crying because THEIR shit is in a billion pieces, I'll look at them with a shit ass look on my face, tell them it wasn't me and then when they've freaked out long enough, I'll throw them a pity "sorry" just for their efforts.
FUCK THIS SHIT!
It's not even about the soap
It's not even about the soap dispenser. It's about not being treated with respect.
I asked H a hypothetical question:
"If your son were to accidentally break something that belonged to a stranger, would you expect him to apologize?"
H, "Yes."
Me, "Would you let him wait SIX HOURS to apologize?"
H, "No."
Me, "And if he apologized like a little snot and clearly didn't mean it, would you allow him to get away with it?"
H, "No!"
Me, "If you wouldn't let your child treat a STRANGER with such disrespect -- then why would you let him treat your WIFE that way?"
I told H, in front of his precious child, that the next time SS is coming to visit, that until he grows a sac and can figure out how to be a FATHER, then he needs to find somewhere else to be. Because it is NOT fair that he expect me to be ok with being flagrantly disregarded and disrespected - by BOTH OF THEM - in my own home.
Lrp I just want to hug you.
Lrp I just want to hug you. It's been one big roller coaster for you. I'm so sorry!
Thank you. I could use one. I
Thank you. I could use one.
I just smoked a cigarette. Haven't had one since October. Now I feel ill. :sick:
Clearly THAT wasn't what I needed.
I just don't know what to do anymore. I do NOT understand why this is so hard for my H to figure out. I've said it to him in every possible way I can think of, yet the only time he "listens" is when I'm blowing up. THEN, I'm the asshole for blowing up. I am SICK of constantly being set up for failure and to be the bad guy.
H was HIDING from me in SS's bedroom. WTF kind of message does that send SS? I'll tell you what kind of message: That I'm not safe. Well SS got the message, he was tip-toeing, along the wall, as quietly as he could, to try to go to the bathroom without drawing attention from me. SERIOUSLY? I am NOT an ogre!!! I really am not!
I JUST WANT TO BE TREATED WITH RESPECT AND I DON'T WANT TO HAVE TO ASK TO BE TREATED WITH RESPECT.
Blah. Now my stomach feels gross.
Well, you forced someone to
Well, you forced someone to apologize when they weren't sorry. What did you expect??
You can't go around demanding respect. You can't make people do something they aren't going to do.
Your issue is with SO. He needs to parent. If he's not going to, you can't make him. I'd lovingly (haha) suggest SO buy you a new one.
Reading your last comment, it sounds like SO and SS are aligned AGAINST you. If that's not what you want, you need to change something. But those are the facts.
Is this HRNYC? Your
Is this HRNYC?
Your contrariness seems familiar...
Anyway, I beg to differ: Children should be taught to accept responsibility for their actions. Up to an including what an appropriate apology is, timing, and the lesson as to why it's important. THIS is a vital component of learning how to treat others with basic common decency and respect.
I'm confused as to why you would think that it's inappropriate for me to demand, in my own home, that I be treated with the basic common decency and respect that any human deserves?
"You can't go around
"You can't go around demanding respect????" Since when can she not? Since when SHOULD a stepparent not demand respect? I think that's totally wrong. If she (or any of the other stepparents on here) didn't DEMAND RESPECT, her skids, the skids' BM, and her SO would be wearing her for a frickin' coat!
I absolutely disagree-- if
I absolutely disagree-- if you do not demand respect in a stepfamily situation-- then you'll never get it!!!!!! As a Stepmom who's put up with disrespect from my SS11-- I absolutely WILL demand respect!!! My house, my belongings-- my life!!! Everything I have read thus far says that we Teach others how to treat us!! At some point you have to stop Allowing the blatant disrespect. Especially from a skid!!! Her DH definitely is to blame for not growing some balls-- & teaching his child how to act!! My DH used to do the same shit-- tell me he'd back me up- blow smoke up my ass--- then when His kid would start his crap (usually after being reprimanded) he'd listen to his poor widdle 11 yr old boy throw a huge temper tantrum like a overgrown 3 yr old breaking things & destroying his bedroom-- then he'd go coddle him!!!! Omg!! I'd had enough of that crap recently & flat out told my DH that I had enough & I was one foot out the door--- guess what-- DH Finally heard me. Now we are working together-- like a Team finally & this last episode I was Proud as my DH did not give in to his poor widdle 11 yr old tyrant this time!! He blatantly disrespected me & I DEMANDED respect!!! Both from SS11 AND from his Father!!!!! & I got it!!! It will be a long road I fear of getting this 11 yr old Bully back in his place--- but--- I feel sooooo much better with my DH firmly by my side!!!
Demand respect girl!!!! Skids don't have to love you, don't even have to like you--but he'll yes, they DO have to respect you in your home & as your DHs wife/partner!!!!!! Yes they do!!! Teach them to respect you (& your things)!!! We teach people how to treat us!!!
Hugs girl!!! I know exactly what your going thru!!! DH needs to get by your side!!!! Husbands & Wives ARE supposed to demand respect with the kids!! He needs to frankly put that kid in his place & stop the coddling crap!!
If baby daddy doesn't respect
If baby daddy doesn't respect her, it's virtually a given that his baby won't, either.
Her problem is with SO. Not the kid.
I've stated that over and
I've stated that over and over. Have you actually read anything that I've written?
Also, he is not my "baby daddy" -- he's my husband.
Finally, it's not OUR child that is misbehaving -- it is HIS child that is misbehaving.