Absent husband...
I am a "Skid Window" this past few days. DH and SS have been awake for 3.5 hours now -- all they've done is play video games, played basketball, and are now going for a bike ride.
If DH even tried to take 5 minutes to talk to me about something, SS starts complaining about, "being bored." Then DH leaves me to go entertain his son. I mean, don't get me wrong, I understand about wanting to spend time with his son and that's it important for the kid to get alone time with his father. HOWEVER, this goes deeper and awry from that. My complaint has to do with the fact that my DH is absent to ME as my HUSBAND when his son is around.
If I want to spend any kind of time with my husband while SS is here -- I have to spend it also entertaining the kid. No thanks. I'm not interested in doing that.
What I AM interested in is being able to talk with my DH about the job interview that I had on Friday afternoon, yet we've not had a moment alone since to really take time discuss it -- especially now that I know what the salary range for the position is. What I AM interested in is sitting down and reviewing the budget and making sure the bills get paid, which is something we are supposed to do together. Instead, he's fucking off playing and I am just supposed to do this shit all on my own -- I mean, God forbid SS has to entertain himself for a 1/2 hour out of his 5 day visit. Well, you know what? The mortgage payment was due today. DH hasn't bothered to make the time to sit down to write out the bills with me -- they way we AGREED we would -- so I guess the mortgage payment is going to be late. Am I being slightly petty? I don't think so.
I'm tired of being a "Skid Widow" and I'm really tired of having to pick up all the slack because DH cant establish healthy boundaries. The mortgage is in HIS name -- so let HIS credit take the hit. If he were more concerned, then perhaps he should have made time to make sure all of his ADULT responsibilities were being taken care of rather than just assuming I am going to wipe his ass for him.
Yeah, I'm in a pissy mood. The way DH acts when SS is here kind of does that to me.
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Here too. SS can't do
Here too. SS can't do anything alone ever, so DH is his playbuddy and constant entertainment. When my bios are here, SS will play with BD which gives DH the break which in turn allows me some time with DH. When its just my bios, I do not have to constantly entertain them, perhaps that is why it doesn't feel so stressful constantly when just mine are here and DHs are not even though there are still kids here.
SS is stuck to DH like glue. We were out for breakfast this morning, SS and DH sat on the same side of the booth - SS who is 6 used 3/4 of the booth for himself, he always does, shoving DH to the tip of the outside part of the table and is constantly touching him, if DH talks to me or SD across the table, SS is grabbing at him, tapping him, banging something, trying to hang and kiss on his arm (well making smacking noises) or just making general noise to be noticed. He can't share attention. DH doesn't even notice, and it drives me up the wall.
Similar at home, dadddy, daddddy, daddddy until DH is doing something with him and if anyone else tries to get involved SS is back to noises, pulling, tapping, hitting, touching, getting in front of, yelling questions about nothing relevant, anything to get the attention back to himself.
I've started choosing to be the Skid Widow now instead of trying to compete - I refuse to compete with a 6 year old. Have fun DH - without me. Sometomes DH gets frustrated when he realizes he hasn't seen me for hours. Of course this is translated to I hate his kid - but in reality, I just refuse to compete for DHs attention - if DH can't train SS to do things on his own then HE is the skid widow - not me - HE is choosing to be alone with SS - and they can do whatever ALONE - I'm doing things I like instead.
Does the kid have a room in
Does the kid have a room in your house? Tell him to go to it, and sit down and pay your bills. He's a child, if your DH won't redirect him, go ahead and do it yourself. Better yet, disengage. I did, and it' burns my DH's ass.