The whole overpraising thing really sucks.My SD7 is constantly a "GOOD GIRL" because she puts away her plate like all the other kids/family memebers. (well meaning grandmother calls her that as if she is a toddler).My beloved SO used to do that in the past to a point she believed that every fart she was producing was so special.
He stopped doing that after a while and consequently SD is mostly a pleasant child, much more independent and less clingy, surprised??
Constant overpraising produces needy and dependent thinking in a child.Children whose egos are constantly inflated hit a wake up call whenever they don't get from the world what they get from daddykins or whoever is inflating it for them.
Instead becoming confident and independent I have observed a lot of insecurities when the social environment doesn't reflect to them how special and wonderful they are.Those spoiled children need to be in the centre of everyones attention and treated like princesses or they get whingy or frustrated or even "sick"if it doesn't happen.When do those parents understand that they don't do their children a favour by overpraising or spoiling them??They create those insecure,needy, clingy personalities....in some cases maybe excactly what the guilty parent wants......never to grow up and always going to need them.
If overcoddling is the new definition of love it is quite a selfish one, I find.It spoils the kids character, messes up marriages and creates confusion in the family and the roles.
I am no exception and also went through a stage where I am guilty of spoiling my own children a bit too much after my divorce, especially my younger one - it is not uncommon, but I learned it needed to be corrected:))
Genuine praise is important but to constantly overdo it can be causing the opposite effect.I believe we can all love our children deeply without giving them the illusion that the world must spin around their wonderfulness.Let them be real kids that climb on trees and enjoy to be in their little world, earning some self rewards doing fun and learning stuff ...yes, they maybe don't need us so much then after all, but we have helped them finding their own pathways in life....and never loved them any less!!