Hi, I am new to this site and I am thrilled to have found it. I have already read many posts that help me feel better about my own issues. But I'd like to vent a little myself about my situation. It's tough to vent to others too much because I am concerned that my feelings are somewhat biased AGAINST my SS and SD just because I have so much resentment.

My SS11 and SD6 are here every other 2 weeks throughout the summer. My DH and I have twins that are a year old so I am at home since I cannot make enough to justify childcare costs. So, we cannot afford camps for the Skids and they are home with me. I will also throw in here that my BS18 and BD13 refuse to have anything to do with me because of PAS plus they can't stand the Skids. My DH and I married in a pretty short amount of time because we knew we were a perfect match. We still feel that way. However, I cannot stand his kids. They are rude, lazy, loud, obnoxious, and have poor manners. Neither one of them have any friends which is sad, yes but I have seen them interacting with other and they are very annoying. Any connections we think they've made with other kids, we find very quickly that the other children are lukewarm towards them and the potential new friendship fades away. They are constantly antagonizing each other and the only peace we have in the house is if they are in front of a screen. I personally do not care for too much screen time but in this case, I give in. I do not want our twins to learn how to behave from them. I know it's normal child behavior to giggle over burgs and other bodily functions but when my twins burp, my skids laugh so hard and loud that you'd think it was the funniest thing they've ever heard. Now my DS1 burps and laughs. The skids are stall masters and will drag their feet at every opportunity. My SS11 backtalks constantly, lies, BS's his way through everything, and thinks everything we say is wrong. My SD6 is very immature. She wants someone to help her with everything - getting dressed, putting on shoes, etc. We do not help her with these things unless she is obviously unable to but it's clear the BM waits on them hand and foot. According to my DH, she is also very assertive and comes off as rude, loud and obnoxious. Apparently she loves bathroom humor. She has no concept of table manners, therefore we end up seeming very strict when we expect them to chew with their mouths closed, use a napkin, keep elbows off the table and sit up straight.

The twins are stressed when the skids are around. We try to maintain a halfway calm household (as much as possible with children involved!). I never had trouble keeping my own children from behaving in such ways. They would get wild from time to time but they do have some self-control and listen when adults speak to them. My skids act as if they hear nothing and continue doing what they want to do even though we know they heard us. I HATE having to be home with them. Coming up with activities that all the kids can enjoy just around the house is nearly impossible. Anything I come up with, the skids either balk at or they end up getting out of control. I really do try and could give lots of examples but I'll spare you. Taking them out and about is too much and I am kind of refusing to try to do that anymore because of the skids embarrassing behavior. Plus it's always a huge issue to even get them out of the house (stall masters). I am usually are pretty mild-mannered person and have never been around kids like them before. I have been a preschool director for many years and am very experienced with many different behaviors. I have in a sense detached from them. I do try to be pleasant around them but I also expect a certain amount of respect. I cannot stand having to say something to a child more than once or twice. These two rarely do anything the first or second time they are asked.

I am just trying to make it through the summer. I dread the week my husband has off and we try to go on a trip. I feel so badly that I cannot stand the skids but it helps to know I am not alone. I am lucky in that my DH understands and sees the issues. He is trying to help them too but it's difficult when they are 60% of the time with BM who lives very differently from us. We are by no means stiff and boring, we just have certain expectations and feel we are not our children's friends. We expect that everyone be treated with respect.