Legal Question
Forums:
I am a 51 year old woman who lives with a wonderful man. We are not married & own our home together. We have not married in the past because I wanted to keep my income & assets from any chance the BM had to access - she has a tenacious lawyer. However I am wondering if marriage would be possible if we kept our finances separate. I sold my home to pay for the majority of the home we now own. I have heard that since BF has a 12 year old if BF died the BM would have legal rights as guardian of minor to 1/2 the home. BF has a will with everything going to me. So my question is my largest asset, my home protected more by marriage?
Here is a WONDERFUL book I
Here is a WONDERFUL book I purchased just a couple of days ago that has GREAT information for anyone considering marriage to a divorced man, especially one with kids...it actually says "keeps things separate ALWAYS", especially if there is child support to be paid, etc...
Every Single Girl's Guide To Her Future Husband's Last Divorce
I would go one step further
I would go one step further and have your DH put the entire home in your name, with a prenup stating half will go to him upon divorce. But for the duration of your marriage, it is YOURS in name.
That's what we did. Everything else, we do keep separate, but anything major, like property, is NOT in his name and in mine.
I agree with this as well...I
I agree with this as well...I was reading about many states that now do NOT end CS upon death of obligor, isn't that nice?...Anyway, it talked about "insurance policies" although they could be for ANYONE named, ie. you...they are FIRST considered part of the estate...thus if he died and he still had to pay CS, they could take part of that money FIRST to pay his child support and then what was left over be given to the person names as beneficiary...I would think the house could be something similar, unless it was ALL in your name, but not sure. I would definitely check the CS laws in your state, the inheritance laws, etc...
Aw MOTHERPHUCK. I love you
Aw MOTHERPHUCK. I love you herewegoagain and all but thank you for the anxiety!
This is just great. Well not like he isn't paying me 1k a month for "rent" (to cover the mortgage and property taxes) which he will continue long after the mortgage has been paid off.
But wow, that pisses me off. So other children whose fathers die in an intact marriage can be left with nothing but ones out of wedlock or from divorced parents still get something. How nice.
No estate for DH. Everything is mine mine mine. (Unless we divorce of course.)
DO EVERYTHING BY THE BUSINESS ROUTE. Seriously. If DH hadn't wanted to do everything this way, I wouldn't have married him, or have been with him. He was the one who came up with it, but now I see it was truly the best way. Once he had bemoaned about how he can't even grow his savings account anymore, and well sorry, that's just the way things are. You decided to have an accident, and now you're paying for it in more ways than one.
"But wow, that pisses me off.
"But wow, that pisses me off. So other children whose fathers die in an intact marriage can be left with nothing but ones out of wedlock or from divorced parents still get something. How nice."
Ah, no, not only that. If the CP dies, because she never had a CS obligation to begin with, she can leave her kids out in the cold and the NCP would then have to raise them on his own lol...Yes, in our lovely blended family, although BM doesn't even own a house, thus loser would get nothing if her mother died, even though I spent most of MY money on everything we have, our kiddo would be left to fend for himself while the loser would still get her CS...THUS the reason we sold our home, THUS the reason that I will NOT have a home until CS is paid off...and our money, is going into MY bank account, in someone else's name just in case.
Good advice. I would spend
Good advice. I would spend the money to talk to an attorney as well.
Read the book and go back and
Read the book and go back and set everything straight.
My wife and I both have children from previous marriages and we keep our finances separate. Our home is in a living trust - 50/50 with right of occupation until the surviving spouse dies, remarries or moves.
I.e. I get to live in the home even while her estate owns half of it and she does also. All I have to do is maintain it and pay the taxes. After we're both gone the kids split it up.
I have several savings accounts in my own name and perhaps she does also - that's between her and her kids. Our one car isn't worth arguing over but it'll probably end up in her name then her kids. My van/RV has my kids name on the title.
Were you just starting out I would tell you to marry in the church if that's important but not have a civil marriage license. Just keep it all seperate with perhaps the house in a living trust as described above. It's not too late and consider a divorce if it'll put it all right. I.e. paper divorce and just shack up.
Were you just starting out I
Were you just starting out I would tell you to marry in the church if that's important but not have a civil marriage license.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
You keep saying this. You need a marriage license to get married in a church. The clergy are REQUIRED to see it and sign it. They can't marry you without it.
Pensive, I think it depends
Pensive, I think it depends on what State you live in. Here in Louisiana we have usufruct. This would mean that my SD would automatically inherit the house my DH and I bought together if he were to pass away. Never mind that it has been paid for with my money too and although I don't have children I might have relatives I would like to leave some of the estate to. Now this doesn't mean SD could throw me out of the house. She couldn't. I could live in it until I die but if I wanted to sell it I would have to seek her permission and then give her half of the proceeds! However, this can be overridden by a will. My DH and I have wills in place. If I die first the house is his to do as he chooses and my sister gets my jewelry, belongings,that kind of thing. If he dies first, the same goes for me. The house would be mine to live in, sell to whomever I wished and leave in my will to a person of my choosing. Basically he had to disinherit his daughter so that I have the right to do what I wish with the house and everything in it. Like I mentioned I think it depends on the laws in your particular State. I suggest you to seek the advice of an attorney. Many of them will give a free consultation.
That how PA is too. A will
That how PA is too. A will trumps the state's distribution. And I don't know why cs would have to continue. THe kid will get social security. In fact, in my case McCrazy would get a big fat monthly check if dh died because after 10 years of marriage exes are entitled to "survivor" benefits. Isn't that nice? Remember that next time you vote against social security cuts!
Thank you everyone for the
Thank you everyone for the advise!
I have a call into my attorney & will let you all know what she suggests. I tried to plan ahead for everything cohabitation agreement/wills, ect. However then I read about how the CS after death continues in Texas & I became concerned. I may have him take out additional life insurance.