Weekend Vaca?
My DH has three girls from his previous marriage. They are 23, 20 & 12, the two oldest live with us the youngest with her mom. I passed the try hard for them to like me stage & am now onto the polite but reserved stage. The two oldest are ok, they have seen the benefits in behaving well. The youngest however has been completely PAS-ed & wont even make eye contact. She will go around the house the other way if she sees me heading her direction. This is sad since I was the first to take her to sit on Santa's lap & to make her first Easter basket. I have come to the realization that where these girls are concerned too much effort is indeed wasted. This attitude makes for an uncomfortable household, my DH has seen it & while tries to attribute it to "being young" realizes it is disfuctional.
My question is.... my DH wants to take 12yr old to beach or some type of vacation, the child has never been taken anywhre by mom. DH when single simply did not have the funds. So do I go along & present a united front or do I have them go on their own. While not thrilled about having to spend my weekend with her I think just the two going sends a bad precedent about future expectations & these are the type of girls to dictate as much as possible. So what say you, wise women?
I think you should go
I think you should go together. If you go and have some time with the 3 of you supporting and loving her on a special weekend or whatever I think that memory will stay with her and be a good foundation to move forward from.
I think you should give a try
I think you should give a try at least once. That way, if it turns out that being out of the house atmostphere brings you closer together (where she will at least make eye contact and treat you like any other adult), then great; if it turns out not so great/awkward, well then at least you know you tried it once and then can opt out of future trips with a clear conscience.
You should go together.
You should go together. Period. Married couples hardly ever go on vacation on their own with their kids without the other parent. Mind you, you are not technically her "parent", but you are her dad's wife. If you don't, you are setting a precedent for her thinking that she can now go with daddy alone wherever she wants...and no, that is not right.
I've told DH in the past,
I've told DH in the past, when thing were really tense between me and Skids, just go on XX trip without me, just go ahead and take your kids on your own. Just made him a sincere offer to just go with them without me.
And guess what, he said no I don't think that's right. He didn't want to do it.
We ended up going on the trip and it was fine. But then again I find that I like my Skids a lot better once we are outside the household/on vacation.