Angry and sad...I feel stupid
Well.... The wedding from hell continues to be planned....I am trying the disengagement technique talked about all over this board.... But my feelings keep getting in the way...cognitively "I know" what needs to be done....but this is just an ongoing slap....my husband dosnt seem to react...I have tried to discuss it with him...how HE is being disrespected. ... How you ask....By not being told anything....but he insists on continuing to pay a Huge amount for this wedding....so today is father's day and they the 2 sd are comming....they will may bring a card...( have seen this in the past) and expect food etc.... DH is always happy with any attention from them...and at this point I am not willing to hurt my marriage by refusing to be the hoastest .....I am sad and angry...I know I have no place in this event ( wedding) but it is all that will be talked about today...
I feel stupid that I ever thought that this (the wedding) and the planning would be anything I would be involved in....this is just more of a vent in anticipation of hours of wedding talk that I'm not involved in and not included in....how do y'all do it? how do y'all let go of this hurt?
Your DH is not the father of
Your DH is not the father of your children? If not, then spend today with someone or doing something that makes you happy. Let him take them out to eat or however he wants to handle feeding them.
Let them have their time with their father and do something positive and uplifting for yourself, even if it's just as far away as gardening all afternoon.
Agree w/post above mine. My
Agree w/post above mine. My bro was over with his wife last night and they were talking about a period when bro's ss was really irresponsible and he was given huge amounts of $ to cover a lazy mistake. My SIL recognized her irresponsibility in covering for this adult but then said, well her DH (my bro) and her have separate accounts.So it was easier on my bro
My bro was still steaming b/c he was protective of his wife but at least he was less so b/c it was not his $. Really, if H is being disrespected (though I know few H who care about wedding plans) than if it's his $, you won't worry.
I can't tell you how much I disagree about feeding them. Tell them to call Marie Callenders or something like that and bring it over if they are too lazy to cook. Or tell them to bring over dishes and cook one thing. One thing you will learn as a SM is you will work your tail off preparing dishes/meals only to have them completely taken for granted. I've gotten to the point when MIL (skids don't anymore) come over I order pizza.
By the way, when you cook, you teach them that it is someone else's responsibility to honor dad. My MIL has done this for years to his kids have rarely honored him individually and it has hurt him. If I were you I would convey this to them today and ask them to bring over something. It will be more loving than enabling their adult butts.
This approach (you NOT taking responsibility for meals) is not passive aggressive but truly meant to save you having more of a wedge between you and skids due to bitterness b/c of their ungratefulness and entitlement.