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Beaten down, but I must get back up!

audi_coupe.tt's picture

My SS11 has been extremely disrespectful and ungrateful as of late. We normally get along pretty good, but his attitude seems to be getting worse. I know the closer it gets to his mother’s visitation for summer the worse the skids behavior sky rockets from usual obnoxious to downright monstrous.

(As some of you who reads regularly might know BM lives out of state, and see’s the kids only for 42 day’s for summer break, and alternating years for Thanksgiving and Christmas. She also doesn’t call or have any communication with them unless they call her. Oh and of course she's above the law and doesn't pay her child support.)

I also know he is edging towards his teen years, but I don’t feel that’s an excuse to be so rude. I confronted my husband after dinner tonight, and after SS was blatantly disrespectful towards his father during dinner. My husband typically doesn’t let that behavior slide, so I asked him why he let SS get away with speaking to him like that. My husband told me he would like for his kids to come back after the summer with their mom.

(Again BM likes CPS, and making false complaints, she’s made a whooping 22 in 2 years, she likes to be the biggest pain in our ass as possible. I don’t even have time to write her monstrosities she had pulled using the kids pitting them against their father. She’s a gem let me tell you it’s sad. )

I was appalled that he would say that. My first reaction was to say grow a pair, but I know he loves his children so much, and everything is about his family life. But to live with smart mouth undisciplined children because they must know by now you’re afraid to step on their toes because it’s so close to mommy dearest coming to pick them up really irks me. I feel like my SS is smart and is using all the past as knowledge to get whatever he wants during this time. Because we all know EVERYTHING that happens in my house gets repeated and fed to his mother so she can filter what she can try to use against us. He is like putty in her hands she asks and he tells everything about our lives. (She asked about what my wedding ring looked like , my SS told me she asked him, he asked me wondering why his mommy had asked he must of knew it wasn't right, and he made some excuse for her asking and him telling her.)

I’ve posted before about fear we have that she would take SS to court and try to have him appeal to a judge that he was mature enough to decide which parent he wants to live with, and all, and given her background and the details of that complicated divorce and custody battle that’s not going to happen (well it shouldn't if the court system has any sense), but you can’t stop desperate people from trying I suppose.

I don’t know? I just don’t know how to deal with this. We guard a lot what’s said around SS because we know he goes and tells all, but after that comment from my husband. He seemed so beaten down, and my heart is just sick with the whole situation.

Comments

B22S22's picture

Coming from someone who has experienced this: If your DH let's those things pass because he doesn't want to piss off the skids ("but they might not want to ever come back") it will never end and only get worse.

You don't think kids know this, love this, and play this?

I'm here, 7 years into a relationship and because my DH took that attitude from the very beginning, I've been relegated to a non-entity in my own home. They don't HAVE to respect me, they don't HAVE to listen to me, they don't HAVE to play by house rules here. Because if anyone makes them, they just won't come over anymore.

The term "emotional terrorism" is used on this site, and this is a shining example of such. Just wait until it becomes "give me money, or I'm cutting you out of my life" sort of drivel. And then your DH will stand there with a sappy look on his face, wondering where it all went wrong.