:? I am engaged to a wonderful man with an even more wonderful child. There has been little parenting that I have seen since we met a few years back though I have spent time with the boy only in the last 9 months or so (though we met 5 years back originally). Right/wrong/indifferent the boy doesn't want to spend time with his mom. As a result, though our agreement when we (Dad and I) moved in with one another was to have him part time, I hastily agreed to full time because I believed that was best for the child.

He is a fantastic kid. He makes good grades, is rarely mouthy (though has his moments, as do we all), and is just an all-around good kid.

I struggle with the fact that Dad doesn't want to parent. A few weeks ago (after coming home from a weekend away (Dad and I for a family wedding to which child was invited but didn't want to attend, AFTER planning the trip around him) find a living room full of teenagers asleep on a holiday morning when he had been forbidden to be home alone or have friends stay over) we decided (and this is NEW territory) there were going to be 3 household rules:

1) 10PM curfew on school nights unless approved in advance (he's 16)
2) 1am curfew on non-school nights
3) Sleepovers at his friend's homes are approved 24 hours in advance (in an attempt to thwart "I-have-to-go-home-so-I-will-stay-at-a-house-where-no-one-makes-me-come-home")

Here is where I am at a loss... He is a GOOD kid. He has rarely been disrespectful to me (and then not even at the volume that is worth discussion).

But, Dad thinks discipline is optional. Even if it's disrespectful (I feel) to me. For example. "it's easier for us if he doesn't follow the rules tonight". Okay, But how does that help him be the best grown up?

H.