Just me and sd12 next week...ugh!
Hi, I am so happy to find this site!! 
I probably should introduce myself, as this is my first time posting. I am a bio mom of 2 and step-mom of 2. My DH and I have been married for almost 4 years. We have been through a lot, as I'm sure most blended families have, but we are hanging in there! My bs18 has put us through a lot. He has had trouble with drugs, the law, etc. He is currently living in an apartment with friends doing who knows what....but that is for another post! I am blessed to have a wonderful bd14. She is a straight-A student and all-around good girl. After all I have been through with my son, I am so thankful for her!! I have an ss18 and an sd12, 2 different BMs. The 18-year-old had some rough times like my bs, but has pretty much turned it around, which is great. He just graduated from HS. He lives with his BM, and other than being somewhat immature (example -- no driver's license yet at 18), he is a pretty good kid. My conflicted feelings I've been having revolve around my sd12. She lives primarily with her BM but visits us more or less on the "standard schedule" -- EOW, holidays, longer during the summer. My sd12 is not a bad kid, but is definitely a "daddy's girl." I have seen others on here posting about feelings of jealousy, even feeling "sickened" by their DH's relationship with their sd, and I can totally relate to this! I am so glad to find a place where I can talk about these "forbidden" feelings!!
The current issue I am having is....well first some more background....my DH works out of town a lot. BM of sd12 has been getting irritated at times lately because DH is sometimes out of town when it's "his time." BM has a boyfriend now and wants to make sure sd12 does not get in the way of her "alone time" with him! Long story short....BM wants to bring SD12 over here Monday night, because her boyfriend is having surgery Tuesday morning. MY DH will not get back in town until Thursday night. So, it will just be me and sd12 alone for 3 nights. Like I said before, she is not a bad kid....it is just sooo awkward when she and I are alone together!! MY DH does not understand this, and thinks it's great that she and I will have some "bonding time." Ugh. I don't know why I can't feel closer to her....I am a teacher and bond easily with most children!! I think part of it may be due to the fact that I am very close with my bd. She is at her dad's for summer visitation right now. I miss her terribly! When my sd12 is here she is not much trouble....she mainly just sits on the couch and watches TV. If I ask her questions she will answer, but our conversation never "flows." I love my DH and feel bad about this....I know he would like us to be closer. But how do you force a bond when it's just not there??
Thanks in advance for any advice. It is comforting to know there are others out there with similar feelings, and it doesn't mean we are bad people!! Just hoping next week will go by fast.... 
The point of a child visiting
The point of a child visiting a parent is to be with the parent. Generally don't allow the kid to come over unless Dad is going to be home each and every day of the visitation.
This is not your problem - she is his kid and you don't have to offer excuses.
If you're feeling chairitable because of the operation that's OK but future visits will include Dad in the picture.
Don't stress about it. No
Don't stress about it. No sense in forcing a bond that may never happen. Just do whatever you would normally do and let her do her thing. That's how it is some days here with my own kids. But I agree with OCC. Don't make this a habit; it's not your problem.
Thanks OCC and smartone.
Thanks OCC and smartone. Yeah, this is not the first time this has happened. A couple of months ago, I was asked to watch sd12 because BM had supposedly already bought plane tickets for a weekend trip, then my DH informed her he wouldn't be home that weekend. She was not happy, so I agreed to watch sd, really just for my husband's sake. The thing is, I am NOT their only option....BM's mom lives nearby and is almost always available. But sd complains she gets bored with her grandma and would rather stay with me. I have no idea why, as it's not very exciting for her over here either! BM seems to be under the mistaken impression that sd has friends in our neighborhood, but that's not true. There was one girl here she used to hang out with, but they're not friends anymore. Anyway....I can see that if I keep saying yes, I will continue to get taken advantage of. I almost feel sorry for sd12, in a way. It seems BM is always trying to "park" her somewhere so she can go do her own thing. I don't understand that at all....I cherish every moment I have with my bd!! Anyway, like y'all said....it's not my problem!
It sounds like she is more
It sounds like she is more comfortable with you than grandma. Maybe she is okay with the quiet between you two because grandma talks her ear off? My ex mil would NEVER shut up. OMG my kids and former sd realized it REALLY early on. But while it doesn't seem very entertaining to you, it might be comfortable for her to be there with you.
Smartone, you may be right.
Smartone, you may be right. She definitely seems comfortable here! We have survived our first few hours together....not too bad I guess. We got a pizza for dinner and watched TV (some together and some separately). I retreated to my bedroom when she said she wanted to watch Snooki and J Woww in the living room (ugh -- no thanks!!).
I am already feeling stressed about tomorrow, though. She asked if we could go shopping.....said she wants to get some new DVD that just came out and said she needs some new tennis shoes. Ok, well, my DH gave me $100 to spend on her this week (after I dropped some hints). For the most part, we keep our money separate, and he makes a lot more than I do! Granted, he does pay most of the household bills. But he knows I struggle every month....after making my car payment, paying my cell bill, credit card bills and everything for my bd and bs, my teacher pay and measly child support always runs out. Anyway, my point is, I will take her shopping, but if she uses up Daddy's $100, that's it! Her BM also makes more than I do, so I don't feel I should have to spend any of my own money to buy her stuff...
Ok, well thanks for whoever "listened" to me vent this evening! Goodnight.