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It was a "Yes ma'am" kind of weekend... or was it?

New Mama's picture

This weekend was beyond stressful. SS7 stayed home instead of going to his grandparents, as punishment for being bad at school all week. SS7 had to do chores and homework for all of an hour and all was forgiven and forgotten. I did not agree with this punishment but for the sake of keeping peace, I did not voice my opinion.

SS7 has a terrible habit of talking back and arguing with adults. Partly why he gets in trouble at school. So this weekend, DH and I agreed to focus on this and start to correct the problem. We told SS7 that when he is asked to do something we want to hear "yes ma'am" or "yes sir" and then he needs to do what he is asked. No talking back. No arguing.

Me: SS7, please go pick up those toys.
SS: But BD1 took them out.
Me: I believe you meant, "yes ma'am". Go to your room for a time out.
SS: (sulks to his room)
10 minutes later.
Me: SS7, come here.
SS: What.
Me: I believe you meant, "yes ma'am.
SS: Yes ma'am.
Me: You were told not to argue. Let's try this again. SS, please go pick up those toys.
SS: (walks off)
Me: SS7, get back here. Let's try this again. SS, please go pick up those toys.
SS: Yes ma'am.

DH was standing there the whole time and said not one word. And this was one of at least 10 incidents that happened infront of DH.

After the kids went to bed I asked DH to please back me up and be more consistent. DH said ok and went upstairs to his office and didn't come back down until I was already in bed.

This isn't going to work.

Comments

amacas's picture

Similar situation.
DH seems to be work but is lazy and wants you to do the "work"
Tell him...I want you to do some of those scenerios like i have, so that he knows we both expect it.
See what he says.

dreamingofhappiness's picture

Sure it will... I did a similar thing with my SKIDS... I did not use the Yes Sir/Yes Ma'am, but when they opened their mouth to talk back I told them to zip it, if I wanted their response I would have asked. and said You are instructed to do something, no get it done.. It has worked

NCMilGal's picture

Ugh, I HATE the way these "parents" expect their new spouses to be the ONLY parents!!

Due to a tornado, we ended up moving back into our house while we had SD16 last summer. Who got her up and moving? NOT DH! Who kept her on task and working? NOT DH! I confronted him repeatedly that she needed guidance and supervision, and he tried to pawn it off on me as "she really looks up to you...' BULLSHIT! Nut up and PARENT! Not my kid! Not my asspain to deal with!