marriage on the rocks
My ss is the reason to blame. I don't like being around him and I don't like when he is home with us. He is 7 yrs old and very smart playing the game between parents. One example is that bm complained that we threw shoes away and she wants things back. I know ss only told her that dh threw them away instead of saying the backs were ruined.
Bm and ss never bring jeans back to our house after her weekend. He always comes home in pajamas. Well ss will go to school in pajamas when he runs out of jeans during the week. They don't even back them in his school bag to bring home.
Ss bday was 2 weeks ago. I was off that day so I surprised him at school with individual cups of dirt dessert with flowers for all his classmates. His bm was supposed to have him the day and bailed for work. Then we took him to dinner and had his bday party that weekend. WELL bm has his bday this weekend and sends him home with treats to take to his class this week. I put them in the freezer and told ss that he could take them for valentines day, that he already had his bday and treats in class. Bm has ss the weekend before his bday and did nothing so why now 2 weeks later. Ss started crying because of this but never once told his bm that we made dirt for his class already.
I don't like her and what she thinks is being a good parent. She finally has caught on that dark on the side of the road is a bad drop off place so she comes early when its light out. However today she parks half on the road and half off. Trucks go by at 70mph.
I know ss hates being with us because we are true parents and its cakes and pies with her. He knows how life is though and is spoiled rotten. My marriage is being put badly to the test right now. I don't even like being around dh and ss cuz dh wants it all easy and go with the flow and give in to not receive nonsense.
I losing my mind!!
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Comments
You might not agree with
You might not agree with this, but I have to say it anyway. Your SS isn't to blame. Your DH is for allowing him to act like this, and for not parenting his kid. He wants things to be be all easy when SS is over. By taking this bury-my-head-in-the-sand approach he is only allowing the bad behavior to escalate to monstrous levels, which makes you resent SS even more. This could all improve drastically if DH would start parenting his son, and get on the same page with you regarding rules, consequences and how they'll be enforced/who will enforce them in your home.
You said you made SS and his school friends treats to have at school for his birthday. Don't do anything for SS unless it's necessary. Step back, and have DH step up and start doing more for SS. That might open his eyes up to the fact that SS truly needs guidance better than that which he's currently giving him. Hopefully, he will come to that realization and start doing things differently, so that things will be better for ALL of you in the long run.
I agree with the above poster
I agree with the above poster and wanted to add that o really don't see a purpose of not allowing the boy to bring the treats his mother made to school. If it was a problem, the teacher would handle it.
Yah even if you don't like
Yah even if you don't like that she didn't do anything on SS bday, she is doing it now. That is his mom. You don't have the right to tell SS and her that he can't take the treats she got him to school... I'm sorry but you don't. None of us do. It's the shitty part of being a SM. We have no say, BM does what she wants and we do all the work. Step back n let your DH be the parent. Take some time off. Disengage. Let BM parent how she wants and let your DH start doing the work instead of you. That's the good part of not being the bioparent... We don't HAVE to raise these kids and we can go on strike anytime we feel its necessary to keep our sanity. Lol.