master manipulator
So today brought a very blatant show of something I have noticed as becoming very common. See we were just finishing dinner and sd9 says to me ”Is there anything for desert tonight?” Thinking to myself that since she had a fiend over to spend the night i'd put together a nice movie night for them after sd5 and ss3 went to bed, ” I said no I don't think so” mostly because I didn't want the smaller children to feel left out. What happened next is starting to become more prominent. She looks at her plate and says sweetly without missing a beat- ”we never get desert when we're here, but its ok”. I replied, i'll keep that in mind and make sure we never do so we don't change the tradition.
Their mom is extremely worried that they won't like her or want to go to her house for visitation that she even told sd14 that she won't ever tell them no or not give them what they want so they will always love her. This makes it difficult for me because all they have to say to biomom is ”ella has gum” in a challenging tone and she immediately gets them gum or whatever the item is. Even ss3 has mastered the art. Never works on DH or I but I am getting tired of the attempts at manipulation due to dear old moms insecurities. Any ideas? How do I respond or nip this behavior before they get to be teens?
Just be who you are.. My
Just be who you are..
My skids think every night has dessert..
I don't change a damn thing when they are here..
Just be who you are...don't change your way of thinking...
cause if you do...you become her...
The kids will learn the differences in the two homes...
and one day...one long day they will thank you for giving a shit..
Thank you. I agree. I do my
Thank you. I agree. I do my best to be myself and I pride myself on being me, its just skids get under your skin unlike anybody else can
I totally get your struggle.
I totally get your struggle. My sd9 plays the same game! Her bio mom is a mess so buys her off with shopping trips, no bed time etc. She has no rules there at all! Then I'm the bad guys because i require her to shower, brush her teeth and pick up her toys!! I can tell u the last few months have been horrible - a constant battle for control and ive done everything i can to stay consistant. I don't know when it will get better but she now doesn't want to go to her moms anymore...which i take as a good sign. Even though she hates having rules...she would rather be at our house with rules than at her moms without any!! I keep telling myself once shes older she'll appreciate everything ive done. Just stay strong and don't let them get to you!
nice article, i just finished
nice article, i just finished bookmarking it for future reference. i would love to read on future posts. how do i configure the rss again? thanks!
Boynton Beach water damage
My SO's daughters (3, 6, 7)
My SO's daughters (3, 6, 7) have been living with me for a little under a year now. When they first moved in, they wasted a RIDICULOUS amount of food. They'd say they didn't like something or take a couple bites then throw it out when I wasn't looking. Their mom lets them do whatever they want at her house. They've gotten better since, I told them they eat what is given at each meal. If they do not eat it, they will get a snack between meals like normal, but they will not get another meal until the next. This worked, they now eat most if not all their food. The eldest though, 7, She has gotten in this habit on school days of getting a bowl of cereal, then walking away to go to the bathroom, playing in the bathroom for 15 minutes then saying she doesn't want to eat her cereal because it is soggy. After a few days of this I put my foot down and said, that she'd eat it because I'm tired of her wasting food and then asking for a new plate/dish/bowl, because she wants to goof around. She threw a fit and I ignored her. She did end up eating it. The next day she had a "tummy ache" and asked "can you get sick from eating soggy cereal because I bet that's it." I said no. She then (Finally) used a phrase I've been waiting for, "Mommy doesn't make me eat my cereal after it gets soggy. Because, my mommy is nice" After my eye was done twitching I regained myself and said, "Well, we have different rules in our house than at your mom's house. You obey our rules at our house and your mom's (or lack there of) at her house. But you should eat what she gives you too, because she doesn't have a lot of money (which their mother frequently uses as a topic on why she can't follow through with her promises to them)" Going with their mom is like going to grandmas house for a few hours, she buys them a happy meal, small dollar toy, new hat, and then sends them home. Mommy asks your daddy for gas money because she can't afford gas money to pick you up (It's nice to get paid CS to see your kids for 5 hours a week, right?), but she somehow found money to buy you a bunch of crap you don't need that will be broken and on my floor by bedtime. ---- sorry this totally turned into a rant. lol ----