Would you have another child if it weren't for skid/step situation?
I was sitting in the waiting room today at my OB/GYN, to get my birth control. Of course, a bunch of cute little pregnant women were coming in and out. I was pondering what life would be like if we have another child...and what life would be like if we didn't have skids and we had another child. I try to come to terms with the fact that I chose DH, therefore chose this situation. But I love my baby (now 10 months) so much, I loved pregnancy, I have enjoyed each milestone so much so far...and if it weren't for the skids, we'd ABSOLUTELY, 100% have another one, and we'd probably be trying to get pregnant again right now...rather than me waiting in the room to get my shot.
So what are the specifi reasons we can't have another kid? Right now, it's definitely a money/housing situation. If we had more money, we'd have more house, and more room for more kids. But I'm not sure any of that will change very much for us in the next 5 years, which is when I'd like to have another if we do.
*Sigh*
For those of you have had a child with your SO who already had kids, did the skids situation deter you in some way from having more of your own?
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We have one together and
We have one together and another on the way, both girls. I have my two, and we have his 3 all the time. If his 2 daughters weren't around, I would gladly replace them with children I had raised so they weren't vapid idiots.
We each had one from previous
We each had one from previous marriages and we had one together. Sometimes I wish we had two together but we are already outnumbered which makes getting everyone where they need to be difficult at times and we are both almost 40. But, probably the biggest reason we will never have another is since we came into the relationship already with children, we have never had much alone time which is so important in a healthy relationship. So, as sad as I am that I cannot enjoy one more, I think we need to focus on us.
If he doesn't want more kids
If he doesn't want more kids and you two decide together to stop after this one, HE should get a vasectomy. It is far less risky and the recovery time is soooo much faster. You would be out of commission for 2-3 weeks he would have sore balls for about a week. There are also a lot more risks to you having the surgery.
Not at all...We have one
Not at all...We have one child together and are trying for another...The only thing that has me biting my nails is my job...I travel a lot so being pregnant and traveling isn't so appealing, but that's temporary...
Honestly, we see SD 6 days a month...I honestly consider DS an only child, and I don't want him to grow up alone...DS and SD are almost 6 years apart. They play together now, but as they get older they'll grow apart...add to that the fact that they're different genders...
I want DS to have a sibling that he grows up with...
We also only have SD 6 days a
We also only have SD 6 days a month, she isn't really a part of our household, she is more just a kid who comes to visit us every other weekend. Even DH doesn't feel like she is really a part of the family, she is more like a niece who he gives money to every month. It sucks, but he never had the chance to bond with her the way he has with our daughter. Don't get me wrong, he treats both girls the same, he just has to fake it with SD because he doesn't feel like a father to her. He does a darn good job of it though, she would never know the difference.
DH and I are currently expecting baby #2 and if money allows we will definately be having a 3rd.
Gah I think about this
Gah I think about this regularly! He has sd4 and our BS is almost 1. He's pushing for another before his 31st bday. I told him the other night that another probably wont be happening. I told him I could only afford 1. He has always put child support first so all bills relating to us, the house and our BS are on me. I know how fdh feels about SD always having her own space (we only have 3 bedrooms). I don't think two ft BIOS should have to share while the other room sits empty. I also work the weekends SD is here and she's so dependent and needy fdh is stressed and pissy when I get home! Hate to think that SD has that much control but I guess she does?!
Definitely. I always wanted
Definitely. I always wanted five kids, and I wanted to be a SAHM mom until the youngest entered kindergarten. BUT, then I met DH and he already had one and I had to negotiate a great deal with him to get the two we currently have. He honestly thinks he would have more, but he spends so much money and attention dealing with SD18, our two already get the short end of the stick and I don't want to dilute the attention any further by adding yet another child to the mix (mess). Plus, DH now makes about half what he made when I met him, so I have no chance to be a SAHM. I see no point in having another child I only see evenings and weekends.
Dh and I have 8 kids between
Dh and I have 8 kids between the two of us. None are ours. It breaks my heart to know it may never be an "ours" situation. But, we chose the situation, so loving my Dh as much as I do might have to be enough.
We keep saying someday. I'm not getting any younger. Someday may be to far away.
This Sucks
It definitely seems to make a
It definitely seems to make a big difference whether people have their skids full time or half the time, versus just every other weekend. I think if it were an EOWE setup for us, it'd be a no-brainer to have another child. But adding to the chaos of the week-on, week-off thing just seems so....chaotic to me!! Ahh.
I guess we'll see where life leads us in the next few years.
We have a beautiful 4-yr-old
We have a beautiful 4-yr-old boy and are expecting another boy in less than 2 weeks (can't wait!), and he's got 2 from a previous "relationship", so no it didn't deter us one bit. The SKIDS only come down every other weekend so it's not as hectic as if they were living with us (knock on wood that that never happens!)...Even though it pisses BM off that he's having kids with someone else (therefore splitting his parental attention), her opinions matter not one bit to us. We're financially and emotionally stable (which is more than I can say for her), so we're going to live our lives the way we want, not the way SHE wants...