Hello, hillbilly heaven! And I'm using a hairbrush to prop up my laptop over a bathroom vanity drawer to keep the computer level as he snoozes away. This is funny on some level. He made gestures today. I remember when my ex had decided to divorce me. Even though he had moved into the basement, ironically, princess occupies now the same room my ex did when we did our months of in house separation. I would retreat into the bathroom, lock the door, talk to my friends and think. Hello. walls.

I guess I don't trust him. Ask a simple question to him and be led about a maze. Thanks but no thanks. Thank god I have switched to the Beatles' Revolver album. "I'm Only Sleeping." Good god, were it so, that this were a state of sleep I could wake from.

Today I had an intake with a new client, a recovering meth addict who is in the zone of 'Eat, Love and Pray.' My will went out to her, stay in the zone, understand the real reality. Don't come back here, this place that is full of pain, disappointment, stay clear with your god, stay clean, young miss.

I am not interested in my husband's mazes. I will be up again this night, and yet perform my my duties tomorrow beginning at 6:30am. They will carry through until sometime late tomorrow night, as he and I have our late client nights opposite one another for childcare coverage.

My proposed date for our so well deserved cheers is Winter Solstice. I do not know how to coordinate the time zones, need help with the technical aspects of that. I believe it falls on December 22nd.

Although I will not sleep, I should try to rest for a few brief hours. I am going to sign off with Blondie's 'Atomic.' And a fucking smoke. And curb my despair. And on a note of self pity, my husband's hair is so beautiful, so long, blonde, wavy (to do with the lyrics in Blondie's song Atomic). It is very hard to not reach out and hold him when everything about him tempts me mightily. But pyschic distance is hard to bridge.