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Heartbroken

krazykate12's picture

Submitted by krazykate12 on Fri, 12/02/2011 - 7:21pm

I was brushing SD's hair after her bath tonight and she started talking about nana (DH's mother who no longer talks to us). She said "nana says she loves me all the time and she says that I am her angel. She bought me a necklace with an angel on it because I am her angel"

It took everything I had not to start crying. SD is the center of MIL's world but she doesn't care about my daughter at all. She hasn't seen her since she was 10 months old... that was 5 months ago. I just don't get it, they are both her granddaughters but she only cares about one of them. The first 10 months of my daughters life she never gave her the time of day. She wouldn't hold her for more than a minute, she would hand her off as soon as one of her other GD's would enter the room, and she NEVER asked for me to bring DD over to her house to see her. She would only call on days we had SD and only asked if she could have SD for the day.

I don't want SD to not be allowed to talk about her nana when she is at our house but when DD is a little bit older I don't think we are going to have a choice. I would rather DD not know anything about her nana than know that nana loves and sees SD but not her. I can't imagine how much that would hurt her.

Comments

cant win for losin's picture

Submitted by cant win for losin on Fri, 12/02/2011 - 7:25pm

I have a similar situation. And my thoughts are that the grandparents are missin out. My dd7months will grow up and not know any different.
The other outed grandkids in the family stopped askin years ago. They dont give it a second thought.

Hopingforthebest's picture

Submitted by Hopingforthebest on Fri, 12/02/2011 - 8:00pm

That is so awful that MIL would do that and I don't blame you at all from keeping that from your daughter, what is wrong with some people???

hismineandours's picture

Submitted by hismineandours on Fri, 12/02/2011 - 8:26pm

My kids havent seen mil in many months. But ss lives with them. MIL and ss drove very slowly by my dd at a park (slow enough for my dd to hear ss say, "hey there's dd"), she waved at them, and neither of them acknowledged her. All 3 of my kids bdays came and went this year without even acknowledgment from mil. I have no doubt that they will not be receiving xmas gifts or again even a "merry xmas!"
I think she is a wicked bitch.

Hopingforthebest's picture

Submitted by Hopingforthebest on Fri, 12/02/2011 - 8:38pm

Hismineandours your MIL is a wicked bitch with a capital B, I hope the Karma bus runs that woman over!

Anonymous_stepmom's picture

Submitted by Anonymous_stepmom on Fri, 12/02/2011 - 9:01pm

I'm so sorry you are dealing with this, it is awfully hurtful. I was in the same situation when I was little I was the center of my grandmothers universe but when my brother came along it was like I never existed. The woman hated me and I was just a little girl, I never did anything wrong but yet was made to feel as if I had, when I was three at xmas time my grandmother came over with a huge garbage bags of gifts. Nothing in that bag was for me, all for my brother. I asked my mom why grandma hated me so much. That's just one example, there are many more mean things she did to me as well. It was very hurtful to me and made an impact so I know how you feel wanting to protect your daughter from this witch.

paul_in_utah's picture

Submitted by paul_in_utah on Fri, 12/02/2011 - 9:31pm

Similar thing here with my wife's kids (I try not to call them "skids" if I can help it). My MIL dotes on SD17, but she never gives SS20 the time of day. The reason is that SS and SD have different bio-daddies, and MIL hates SS's bio-daddy. However, until recently she was cucu for SD's bio-daddy, so she is nice to her.

Dragonflyo226's picture

Submitted by Dragonflyo226 on Fri, 12/02/2011 - 10:47pm

My grandmother did the same thing with me, she actually didn't even meet me until I was 4 years old. She didn't want to jeopardize her relationship with my older sister & brother from my dad's previous marriage; thought their mother would stop letting her see them.
Maybe she'll come around someday.

Lalena75's picture

Submitted by Lalena75 on Sat, 12/03/2011 - 9:21am

my grandmother tired to do the same. My dad was an only child and she thought that there was no reason for there to ever be more than one child in any of her family because there is less for the First child. I was spoiled by her as I was the oldest granddaughter I really didn't know there was a diffrenece in how she treated me vs my siblings till I got older when I had my dd she spoiled her and did so much to help us out raising her. When I announced I was pregnant with our second she actually said "oh honey nooooo why would you do that to dd?" and it hit me. I flat out told her there was no reason parents can't love as many children as they can have and of course afford, and that if she ever treated my children different she would see neither. I'm so thankful that was all it took. She loved them both my ds only got 2 years to know her she passed away 1 hour 15 min after his second b'day it was the only thing I asked of her when she went into hospice care the week before his birthday. "Just make it past his b'day he's to young to understand why everyone would be upset and sad for his birthday." She did. I'm so glad I didn't have to fight her on treating her great grandkids diffrently they would of missed out on a wonderful woman.