Sharing clothes at BM's house
SS6 has been coming here with clothes from his mom's house that belong to the twin boys of BM's BF. BM rarely does laundry (once a month or so) She usually just buys new clothes when they run out of clean ones. Now I suspect her BF is doing the laundry for her and she is paying no attention to who is wearing what.
SS already asked once if he could take a sports jersey for one of those boys to wear and I told him that if twin #1's dad wanted him to wear one of those, he would have to buy it.
Does anyone have a solution to keeping clothes we buy on SS's body and not on some other guy's kids? I am adamant that I am not doing the twin's laundry and I really don't think they should be wearing his clothes either. I briefly brought this up to my fiance but he didn't act like it was a big deal.
Should I start writing his name in his clothes? I hate to start having him wear the stuff she sends him in because we haven't had to do that so far.
I don't know!!
I buy clothes for SS10 and SD12 because BM doesn't send any clothes for the skids to wear on our weekends at all unless we are going to see the whole family or if we have them for the summer visitation. It is almost like if her ex MIL or SIL will see the kids then she cares. Other times it is up to us. Paying CS, doctors bills and precriptions make this difficult to continue paying out more and more. When I buy clothes I tell the skids that the clothes have to stay at our home but, they don't honor my wishes and the clothes leave and rarely do I see them again. I don't like it and I just try to keep it all in mind when I buy the clothes that they will more than likely go to the BM. It really pisses me off!!
The thing is
It was never a problem before her boyfriend and sons moved in and SS started wearing their clothes. I have no doubt that they are wearing his clothes too. He is rough enough on clothes as it is, without 2 kids that I have seen play rougher than he does wearing his stuff too.
clothes
I dont think you can do anything about the clothes arrangement at someone else house. You can always label the clothes that you buy for him and keep a couple of nice outfits at your house for him to wear when he is there.
I guess we just have to
I guess we just have to start sending him back in the clothes he wore here so that someone else's kids don't ruin the clothes we have bought for SS. I can't really think of any other arrangement.
If you
figure out how to get clothes back I'd love to know! BM doesn't pay child support and gets SS on every other weekend and lately has been keeping some of his clothes at her places because she doesn't want to buy any.
It's starting to piss me off because I'm the one that pays for all the clothes.
I'm ready to call her and tell her to send everything home or we'll only be sending SS in one set of clothes which means he'll have to come back in them or she'll need to get him new clothes
Calling works sometimes
When the kids get low on clothes (this has only happened a handful of times) BM and my fiance would call and send a couple of whatever was low at the other house. She's getting worse as time goes by though. There is no CS in our situation, so they each pretty much provide what the kids need for their own home.
I would suggest a) have the child's parent buy the clothes so you don't get mad about spending your money and b) have your DH email or call her to say that the child is low on pants or whatever.
I am getting to the point where although I hate the idea, it is looking more and more like we will have to start labeling the clothes and doing our best not to let the kids wear stuff from our house to hers.
At our house
SS comes in the clothes from his BM's house and leaves in those same clothes. Our clothes never leave our house. Now SD is another story. All her (at least the ones she likes) always mysteriously make their way to her BM's. I make DH call her every so often before their visit and tell her to bring all her stuff back over. She even takes her underwear. That is my solution with SS because before we would just let him wear whatever but his mom dresses him SO bad (I am embarrassed for the kid) and he would leave with our nice clothes and come back with crappy clothes. We could ask SD to make sure to get our clothes back and when she would bring them, there would be stains and crap on them that were not on them when he left. So, I stopped letting him where our stuff. I always have to inspect him before he leaves which is a pain, but I will not have her ruining clothes I paid for just to be a bitch. Maybe this will help you.
One more thing
BM has never sent extra clothes for the kids to wear. We have always had to provide them clothes at our house. Now lease keep in mind they only have a few things because they are only here EOWend and they do not need an entire wardrobe. They leave in the same clothes they arrived in. Period.