Anybody ever consider sueing their DH's for child support just so your child can have their basic needs meet???
Ever since I found out I was pregnant the financial issues come up almost constantly as many of you know im from South Africa. And found I out recently I could get child support from DH even tho we are married and live together. DH earns 4x what I do and even tho its a good salary the "first family" gets thier needs meet.Yet I often have to skip on test the doctors would rather have me do than miss because DH has to pay for SS doctors bills. I pay for what I can but my salary doesnt go far I have tried putting money away aswell because while im on maternity leave I wont earn an income. I am worried our child will always have to go without because DH has to take care of the first familys needs first...
Especaily now since DH has made it clear that things for ss get paid first and everything else comes second....
If you had the oppotunity would you get support from DH?
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If I were ready for a
If I were ready for a divorce, then yes. I can't see a husband being ok with this.
Is CS in South Africa not
Is CS in South Africa not based on the total number of dependents he is responsible for? I would look that up. In some states here, if the husband has an additional child, it will reduce the CS requirement by at least a small amount since he is required to support all his children. Other than that I can't see him going along with this unless he is ready for a divorce. It's very sad though that he does not think it is necessary to care for ALL his children in the same manner. I feel for you.
Yeah BUT, like with me, I was
Yeah BUT, like with me, I was getting mad because it seems like we are always getting the short end of the stick because the first two get a majority of my husbands check and we are left with the scraps.... well when the cs order was originally placed, my husband made less money, for whatever reason, BM never went to court every three years to have them raise her support which is her right, BUT now that dh and I have two of our own, I thought about tellin the court he has two more kids so that they can lessen the support, BUT since he makes more, it could come back and kick me in the but, because they could end up gettign more!!!
And that was a chance I was not willing to take to try and find out
Ah I see. I suggest you
Ah I see. I suggest you discuss with a lawyer or at least contact one to see if they are willing to send you a child support calculator. I did a little research and shows that in SA for two children they take 35% of your pre-tax income. Ouch! Its a miracle most people dont get divorced for show just so their children can get the same benefits as the poor children of divorce. Good luck!
I would, but I have to ask if
I would, but I have to ask if finances are an issue with his first family and children, why did you guys plan on adding another baby? Just curious?
Please dont get upset
Please dont get upset whateva, I understand what you are saying, but I have to say i dont know how many kids she has, but why should her choice on how many kids she has depend on how many he has with someone else? I UNDERSTND THE MONEY ISSUE, AND NOT TO ADD MORE STRAIN MAKES PERFECT SENSE
But when me and Dh got together, I did not have kids, and he said we could have ONE! And I put him on blast and told him ...look, I am not going to be stupid and have a bus load of kids, but dont tell me how many kids I can have because you already made 2 mistakes! I WANT MY OWN KIDS! I dont want to be childless and be a maid and taxi driver for YOUR two kids
Newmom I would never get
Newmom
I would never get upset over someones differing opinion on a topic such as this, but my point is it seem to me that there are a lot of women on ST that complain with money issues that affect their new baby or either they are pregnant about to have a baby and this perplexes me especially when there are countless issues that already exist with husbands prior marriage and kids. Perhaps because I am content and happy not having kids It confuses me how this overwhelming need and urge to have a baby out weigh other decisions that tend to be more logical. :? ?
You refer to his prior kids as mistakes ,however one could also refer to your new baby as a mistake too considering the dynamics. I also don't play maid or taxi to my SO's kids (they have 2 bio parents to play that role). I also have read post where women get pissed at men who don't want anymore kids, this is totally rationale because if I were a guy paying out the ass for kids and then felt pressured to pop another one out and take on more financial responsibility so that a woman can feel she has out-done his prior relationship with kids that are smarter, more precious and well mannered than the crop he spit out before.....may not be your world but just my perspective on this topic.
Whateva
Hi Whateva to answer you baby
Hi Whateva to answer you baby wasnt planned i have been on the pill for the last three years but as the doc said sometimes it just happens. I didnt want to have a baby just yet untill I could afford it but nothing is going to plan
It saved my husband 90
It saved my husband 90 dollars a month when I had our son. Crazy considering I did not work... Now I might owe him. The system is messed up!
The "second" family always
The "second" family always gets the short end of the stick. Mind you, I have no children with GG (thank GOD) however I end up supporting HIM financially b/c after CS and taxes are taken out, he doesn't have enough left over to even rent a room of his own.