Am I looking for things to make me mad??
Skids just left. Was a short and easy weekend!! 
I've noticed more lately that both skids have been telling little white harmless lies. I know it's about stuff that doesn't even really matter.... but it still pisses me off!! Me:"Did you wash your hands?" SS8:"Yes" Me:"Let me see them" SS8 blushes and says "Awww" and goes back to the washroom to wash his hands. Uses a handfull of soap and almost overflows the sink with bubbles and when I noticed and mention he only needs a little soap he replies "I only used one squirt". Lie #2 in 5 minutes.
Later that night at a staff BBQ with DHs work pretty much the same thing. Both boys went to the washroom to wash their hands after eating supper. They both came out and I asked them if they washed their hands. Both said yes. I said "let me smell them" (Lady hosting the supper had a very purfumed soap in the washroom... I noticed because I washed MY hands) they held their hands out and they smelled like burgers. I sent 2 redfaced boys back to the washroom yet again.
Now my question is this. WHY THE HELL TO THEY MAKE THE EFFORT TO GO TO THE WASHROOM AND TURN ON THE TAP... YET NOT JUST WASH THEIR HANDS WHILE THEY ARE THERE THE FIRST TIME?!?!?!? THEN BOTHER TO LIE ABOUT IT?!??? I don't get the reasoning behind this. At all. Let alone twice in the same day.
Now to rant a little about DH. He picked up his kids late Friday night. So they got to our house and went straight to bed after driving here. (an hour drive each way) Why they still have a Friday night to Sunday night agreement boggles my mind when the kids are in daycare before and after school and then drive all the way here just to go to bed. Anyway.... my rant is this: Skids were here two days and two nights.... NO SHOWER FOR EITHER OF THEM!!!!!! How is that normal??? Bring your kids here and let them do what they want??? Choosing to not shower so they can play video games shouldn't be an option.
Little rant about BM... sends the skids with nothing but crappy sweatpants. Maybe I'm wrong here... maybe kids that are 8 and 10 really do only wear sweatpants for EVERYTHING. I say sweatpants are for pajamas and gym class and playing with friends outside. Family affairs and Special outtings call for something a little more appropriate. I'm not looking for a collared shirt and tie here... just NOT sweatpants or track pants.... or anything else made of nylon and lycra. So I packed them up and we went to the store where I bought them each a pair of button up kakhi pants that will probably never make it back to this house again. Sure both kids complained about the pants. The older one especially. He's a big boy and preffers the stretchy elastic band of sweatpants. I'm assuming he also doesn't like shopping for fitted pants. Because he's bigger, it's hard to find pants that fit around his waist and aren't 2 feet too long.
Rant about DH #2... his boys are growing bigger each time. More outward than upward. You'd think he'd think about that before getting them fastfood on the way home Friday night... Tim Hortons donuts and 2000 calorie breakfast sandwiches for breakfast and all you can eat chips at night. Then do it all again the next day because they are out of town all day. Never mind the healthy choices for eating out... they go all out with burger, fries and big cola specials. His kids can't be healthy. I like eating out too... but watching how his kids eat and what they eat makes me sick and not want to eat at all myself!!! Being grossed out could very well be a great diet for me!
On a plus side... I barely saw skids this weekend and aside from stupid little hand washing lies.. they were very well behaved and almost ALMOST cute.
I've come to realize that it's DHs parenting style that bothers me more than the skids do. They are good kids. They are just young and don't know the effects their choices will make on their future. That's where DH should be stepping it up and helping them make the right decisions. IE: eating choices, clothing choices, sports choices, school work choices etc. and he had better start making them take better care of themselves when they're here or it's going to be awkward for everyone when I start making them get in the shower. I won't let them go 2 days without washing.
I think I'm a germaphobe.
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I lost about 8lbs over last
I lost about 8lbs over last summer, bbg. Baby Huey was living with us full time and it was the first summer he stayed with us almost full time. Every time he came into the kitchen (where I was doing a lot of canning), he was all up in my pots and pans. "What's that?" Like duh. What do your eyes see?
BH expected breakfast, lunch and dinner every day. By the time my (now grown) kids were his age, they didn't want or expect 3 square meals like clockwork, especially not during the summer. They didn't weigh 210+ lbs either (BH is in the 99th percentile weight-wise for his age and height). I was so worn out trying to monitor my kitchen and BH's calorie intake that food disgusted me. It didn't help any that I was trying to cook everything low-cal and only enough servings that BH couldn't gorge. I often didn't have an appetite at meal times and wasn't getting the calories that I needed because of it.
You're right about your DH's parenting. That's what it boiled down to for me too. Bozo argued with me about making the 3 cup capacity bowls disappear from the cabinets and only leaving the 1.5 cup ones. BH had clearly demonstrated that whatever size bowls in my kitchen, they would be filled to capacity/overflowing. "He's a big boy, he needs more to eat than you do!" Uhh, had BH not been getting so much "more to eat", Bozo, he wouldn't be so grossly obese?!
If you can't "let them go" or trust DH to take charge over these issues that bother you, it's going to be really hard on you. I can only advise from my experience that you'll only be wearing yourself out to try to take charge over these issues yourself. Bozo rallied to side with BH when I did that. Was worse than if I'd disengaged. BH gloated over his A.S.S. (Adult Spousal Status), Bozo slept on the couch and I was always walking on eggshells in my own home waiting for my next beat down. I put Bozo and BH out of my home about two months ago. I feel a lot better.
What we used to do here, was
What we used to do here, was keep clothes for the Skids to wear. Nothing was ever sent for SS, and if we ever asked SD to bring clothes, they were not what we thought were appropriate. It was way easier to buy things a bit big for them to grow into. If we bought it to fit at the time, then they never really got a chance to wear any of it & we wasted money. So, if they only bring sweats, don't send home the nice pants you bought. Then you will have clothes for next time & if one outgrows it, the other should fit the clothes so you wouldn't have to go buy 2 outfits.
About the lying, try to ask questions or make statements that they can't lie about. Makes it a bit tricky to ask questions sometimes, but helps curb the lying. Or just make it a habit to send them twice to wash their hands, knowing they didn't bother the first time. Maybe they'll get sick of repeating things and just do it the first time. Good Luck!!!
I agree don't send the
I agree don't send the clothes home. The new custody arrangement makes it impossibile for me to keep the clothes we buy and they get sold to consignment shops or we never see them again because she refuses to do laundry. Also, my SS used to do that. I busted him enough he stopped. It is truly above my comprehension why you would turn on the shower stick your head in there and then come out with we hair and you haven't washed...ugh that is so stupid I think it's just a kid thing. Your DH needs to enforce. My DH is OCD so hygiene is extremely important in our house LOL.
to reluctantgma...I know how you feel. Dinner is a fight every single night. BM feeds SS junk. We don't eat like that DH used to not fight him all that much on the veggies and only would give him small portions of vegetables until the dr told him my SS is overweight, the doctor said he needs more veggies and more exercise. I give him the 80/20 diet 5 days a week healthy and 2 days a week 1 meal on each of the 2 days can be not so healthy but I still made little changes to bring down the calories and fat of the meal. She still feeds him junk. When we point out that she's not following the diet she says that she is he's just a big kid. I have a dr's record of when he left for my in-laws for 8 weeks in the summer his weight right before he left and when he came back. My MIL said they didn't follow the diet exactly and he still lost 13lbs which tells me idiot BM is lying and she doesn't follow the diet.