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It gets old

Suzie Z 123's picture

Submitted by Suzie Z 123 on Fri, 10/21/2011 - 2:17pm

I dearly love DH. I also dearly hate that DH can't seem to handle BM2 and everything she email/texts/calls him about I have to hear about. He whines and moans about her and now that forced visitation of SS2 & 3 has been put in place, she's contacting him daily about this/that/the other. Her nickname is DQ (drama queen) since it is always about "HER", how hard being a mom is to her, how hard she tries to take care of the boys, poor her.
I want to be there for my husband but day after day of hearing about BM2's crap, makes me want to run for the hills and just tell DH to handle it! I handle my ex, and there is virtually no drama. We co parent within reason and trust each other to make decisions for the best of the children.
But DH has to tell me about every interaction with her and there always stressful, etc etc...I know it's not right but I didn't marry her...or mate with her either, deal with it! lol

Anyhow, just had to vent...thanks!!

Comments

DaizyDuke's picture

Submitted by DaizyDuke on Fri, 10/21/2011 - 2:26pm

I feel for you, but maybe it's DHs way of trying to keep you in the loop? Sometimes I'm not sure how I TRULY want things to be when it comes to BM... sometimes I feel like you, like I don't want to hear about the stupid crap she's calling about, or the stupid things she's done, or that she picked her nose yesterday. But sometimes, I get annoyed if I feel like she and DH and are having little sneaky discussions, like I am the outsider in my own marriage.

Maybe talk to you DH and let him know how you feel, but be SURE that you really want to be left out of everything before you do it!

harleygirl's picture

Submitted by harleygirl on Fri, 10/21/2011 - 2:48pm

I feel exactly like this too. I can't stand hearing her latest stupid crap but when I feel he doesn't tell me I feel betrayed. It's a very frustrating place to be.
My ss is young too so it'll be a long road. I hope for all our sakes we find a way to co exist.

mama_althea's picture

Submitted by mama_althea on Fri, 10/21/2011 - 2:50pm

I used to get upset about BM's drama. I had some discussions with SO about how inappropriate her constant phone calls and requests for favors were. His solution? Was it to set boundaries with BM? No. His solution was to simply stop telling me anything that was going on. Twisted as it may sound, I felt better knowing about the nonsense than I do now that I'm "protected" from it. Now I have to wonder what kind of bs is going on behind my back. SO actually acts like he's doing some noble thing for me.

Suzie Z 123's picture

Submitted by Suzie Z 123 on Fri, 10/21/2011 - 3:06pm

Thanks Ladies...I go back and forth between wanting to know...and wanting to stick my head in the sand and pretend I'm in my happy place! ha! I guess the real issue isn't hearing about the "normal" stuff...someone got sick, money needed for meds, etc...it's the BS that just doesn't stop. DH & BM2 just can't seem to grow up & speak as normal adults trying to parent 2 teenage boys...BM2 just uses every opprotunity to bring up some past relationship drama and DH just can't seem to help but getting dragged into it and then its on again. BM2 never misses an chance to get a dig in...I just get tired of hearing about all that.