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LOL - My last response to BM

Redsonya's picture

I thought those who enjoyed my email to BM yesterday might like my very last one to her. After this, we'll just delete all texts and emails from her that aren't to the point and don't contain snide comments or questions that are none of her business. She absolutely doesn't get that DH isn't going to call her and is still requesting that he does because she doesn't want me involved.

Her response to my/DH's request that she text or email, not call.

"Oh sweetie, I won't answer and talk to him, don't worry, you don't need to feel threatened. He can leave a simple voice mail and then I will let him know what's going on. It's none of your business ma'am. Have a wonderful night."

Here is my response to her:

"Please Miss Clairol, you are an bitter divorcee with too much time on her hands. You are a cliche, not a threat. "DH's name" and I have decided to put up some much needed boundaries with you so that your ranting and raving can be directed elsewhere.

For the last time, "DH's name" is not going to call you. If you have something to report about the kids or the house, you can do so by email or text without any more snide comments or questions that are none of your business. Any other emails or texts that we get from you will just be deleted."

Anon2009's picture

I think you gave her two good responses recently and it would be best to let DH handle her from here on out. I say that because she knows she's getting under your skin and she's loving it. When DH emails her, it might help him if he kept the emails short and sweet and ignored her rants. If her rants get ignored for awhile she will figure out she has to go rant and rave elsewhere.

You said he includes you in the emails. Does he also include you in emails/decisions regarding the kids' schooling and medical treatment? I ask this because of the adage "three's a crowd" and perhaps this is how BM feels when it comes to decisions that need to be made about the SKs, although she could handle herself a lot more graciously about it.

Redsonya's picture

Agreed - DH will be handling her from here on out. He has told her a dozen times that she needs to email/text, but she refuses to and then made a snide remark about "his wife letting him talk to her". That's when I emailed her. He always ignores her rants. I don't get involved with the kids school or medical decisions. The main issue being decided right now is transportation of the kids and the house that they are still in a mortgage on together. Both of those issues directly effect me and I am tired of her trying to negotiate issues with my DH that I end up having to deal with.

Redsonya's picture

Please- I could care less if she does. I've sat back for the past year and allowed her to run all over me and DH. It is CONSTANT requests for money, favors, etc all in the name of "the kids best interest". Hell, she recently requested supervised visitation and told DH if he let her have them for all of the holidays, then she wouldn't request it anymore. She is also telling him that if he doesn't sign the house over to her, she'll let it go into foreclosure and ruin his credit. Last month, she tried the old "we were married for XX years and loooooved each other, how can that mean nothing?" She tried this because he wouldn't give her $1000 a month extra in CS.

She is always pulling some nasty trick with the IRS, the house, the kids, you name it, that we find out about later and haven't even confronted her on. DH has done a great job at setting up boundaries but its a constant battle with her and the skids, who she tells EVERYTHING to, down to letting them read court documents at 12. I guess the judge can tell me not to talk to her, which would be fine with me. Bottom line, she is a total control freak and its killing her that she doesn't make the rules anymore. I am tired of always taking a back seat and letting her do this stuff.

liks's picture

I like it.....

For those who are skeptic....have you ever dealt with a harrassing BM?

Its not very nice and then when the skids join in with her...its terrible....

I truley believe that every SM and DH should say something similiar as the above - life is too short to have to deal with bitter ex's

caregiver1127's picture

Way to go RedSonya - keep it up - I am the same way with our BM - she knows better than to pull any shit - she knows that DH and I are a team and what she has to say to him she better say to me. In fact when DH answers her about anything he always puts caregiver and I thought this or that or will write yeah Caregiver and I agree that this should not be happening. I am a bitch and when it comes to my marriage no one and I mean no one not even some golden uterus or who thinks she is the golden uterus is running my husband, life or home. Not going to happen - she thinks she is a control freak but I guarantee you my BM has nothing on me when it comes to having complete and utter control of MY FAMILY!!! It took a couple of years but she learned real quick who was in charge and it was not her!!! Really don't these women have anything better to do than try to run our homes - hello how about try being a mother for once!!!

purpledaisies's picture

caregiver I am the same way it took bm a few years to get it that purple IS in control of HER house hold not bm! Even ss15 said something one day, apparently bm was telling ss15 the list of what they an and can't do and what will do at our house and how to do it even what to eat, ss15 looked at his mom and said "dad and purple don't care what you say and they will do what they want and have never done what you have said." LOVE that kid!

I agree though your bm needs to know that you and your dh are a team and she can't control him anymore.

Redsonya's picture

lol - BM DID NOT like being called "Miss Clairol". She has a wierd thing about red hair - I guess she is a natural mousy blonde, but has dyed her hair red since 19. Recently its a really nasty truck stop burgandy that she cut to her shoulders. I have natural, down to the middle of my back red hair. I always hated it as a kid, but I guess it really bothered her when DH and I got together (from skids). Anyways, she sent me some crazy cease and desist email demanding that I not email her anymore. TO OUR EMAIL ADDRESS, WHICH SHE WONT STOP EMAILING! I laughed and sent her an email back that just said "Deleted". I told her in the last email that anything we received that was derogatory in anyway would be deleted. What a moron.

unbelieveable's picture

ohhh yes - birdface told FMIL that FH is nice to her when I am not around...and he is soooo nice and sweet when I am nowhere near him. Please...puke. He answers in one word responses...when he needs to speak he is civil...Just because he will not entertain a conversation with you does not mean it has anything to do with me...

Redsonya's picture

lol - no I won't delete the messages. She'll start it up in a couple days again. DH will respond to any emails or texts that have no nasty comments or questions that are none of business. All the others will be put into "the Pox's folder" in case we need them. Hopefully, like a dog, someday she'll get that she is only responded to when she acts appropriately. All other emails will be deleted. DH really doesn't need to ask her about anything - the skids are 17 and 12. He can talk to them himself.