Bozo has been helping me prepare my truck and trailer for the upcoming competitive season with my animals. The season runs through fall and winter. He's saved me a lot of money and I'm very grateful. Thanks to him, I've managed ~$750 of critically needed equipment on my truck for $104.

Certainly that softens the heart towards someone that I recently tossed out of my home. I've been wanting to get away and spend an interrupted day or two talking out the issues between us, so offered that we might go camping this weekend since BH should be having EOW with his mother. No such luck. BM has 'important' plans with her fiance, so switched this weekend for the following one. I'll be away visiting my eldest daughter and granddaughter that weekend (think Bozo knew this when he agreed to the change), so it'll probably be Oct 7-9 before BH does another EOW. Ya'd think Bozo would insist upon BM taking BH for two successive weekends given she'd skipped one, but she'll probably resume EOW from the weekend of Sept. 23-25th if past history is an accurate indicator. That Bozo won't put his foot down and insist that his non-kid time and activities are just as important (if not more as CP) as hers makes me angry. Such an easy (even willing!) pushover.

We talked a little about the status of his and BM's divorce/custody agreement. She has given him the 'agreement' she composed, he has marked the changes he wants and given them back to her. Of course, she's furious that he didn't just go along with what she wanted. She wants him to agree to all transport to/from medical appointments, to be responsible for all BH's medical expenses that Medicaid doesn't cover (or if BH might lose his Medicaid), etc. Still not offering a dime in CS, while only spending erratic EOWs and a few truncated holidays and partial summer w/BH. She also wants to file these papers in the state where she now lives and can legally do that, leaving Bozo/BH at great disadvantage. I once again told Bozo that he and BH would be at better advantage if he'd go down to our own county courthouse and get the ball rolling himself. He didn't express nearly so great resistance to the idea this time (even acknowledged that I was only wanting him to protect his and BH's best interests), but is still not ready to do that yet. Said he'd threatened BM that he will go down and file in order that a mediator assist in their hashing things out if she refuses to take more responsibility for her son. Knowing selfish BM, that will serve as her cue to go file on her own in the new state now to keep the ball in her court, literally. (sigh) Oh well, his problem, not mine.

Once we were back at my house and Bozo was done working on the truck, we walked down to the bottom of my property to dig some potatoes Bozo had planted mid-summer. I hadn't walked around below since early in the summer and asked Bozo to take me on the tour of a path/road that he and BH had been constructing to the spring house before they departed. It was quite impressive, requiring that lots of heavy brush, briar and and debris be cleared. We had planned to rework my aged spring house and water line to improve the water quality and supply to my home above. Bozo couldn't really hide that he was disappointed that his and BH's efforts were for naught, and it made me feel sad too. Then again, Bozo, all the back breaking labor you might do or have done for me/us doesn't forgive, excuse or make it ok for you to constantly smoke pot here, ignoring my written prohibition on such behavior.

By the time we'd made our way up top again and washed our hands, it was time for BH to be returning to his grandparent's home from school. Bozo didn't want to leave. I gently importuned that it was time and his responsibility to his son and parents.

I'm taking this lengthy separation/lack of just 'Bozo and me' time together as a concealed blessing. It is difficult and painful for both of us, for sure. We miss each other. However, I am not missing Bozo so much as to forget why we're apart right now. It would be a lot easier for Bozo if I'd forget and I've little doubt he'd happily come back without any effort to own, address or resolve our past issues. Nope. Nope. Nope. Thanks to your own lack of assertiveness with BM regarding visitation, we will take our time, Bozo.

The fact is, I've barely started getting back on my own feet and rebuilding my own life just yet. Bozo seems to have submitted himself to an extended vacation in limbo or a void. He has lots of free time on his hands and there are concrete things he could be doing for himself (AA, going to church, or even GED classe) to show me that he is open to learning, growing and sharing better, more successful ways of living with me. It's to his benefit to learn, grow and improve, regardless if on his own or with me. But, he can wallow in limbo/his void for awhile longer and I'll keep working on me. It's possible he might just get bored enough to try something new. That would be good, but if not, it will be no loss to me for a change.