Another ?........What is grounded to you??
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In my previous post I was venting about SD14 being grounded and not telling me why.......but my question is; do you think while she is grounded she should be able to lay in her room and watch TV - never come out except to use the bathroom, eat my food and throw her dishes in the sink. Meanwhile my BD12 who has actaully been doing good is walking the dog, helping me around the house and doing her chores........Isn't being grounded supposed to be a punishment?? (FYI: I make my DB do these things if she is grounded or not!) I try to press the issue but then it just turns into the mean SM syndrome.........suggestions??
Can you disconnect the cable
Can you disconnect the cable to her room? Or flick the breaker switch to the power for her room?
And stop the boychild from doing her chores. Tell DH they still remian to be done because it is not YOUR job or DBs job to do her chores because she is sitting on her arse eating and watching TV.
And there is NOTHING wrong with being the evil stepmother. SOme of us bask in the glory of it all!
I would LOVE to do all these
I would LOVE to do all these things but DH would not allow......he is the kind that says........."Go ahead and do it" but when I do it I get.........."God you're so mean; you don't do that with BD." (and yes I do, in fact I am more strict!) I think rules teaches children things......but it just angers me to see her lay in her room door closed when she can be doing something!!
Grounding should still
Grounding should still include chores, then promptly back up to her room! I'd suggest, within her hearing, that doing chores could mean running an errand if she was willing to do chores...watch the turnaround! To a 14 year old girl it must be hell to be confined to a room, she'll get bored with TV soon enough. How long is she grounded for? Does she have a cell phone? We cut off the cell phone and the wi fi access while SD was grounded.
I don't include additional
I don't include additional chores unless the crime cost me money, in which case I *do* include additional chores to pay off (at what is minimum wage here) whatever the indiscretion was. However, I do expect her standing chores to be done. Grounded for my family does not typically include confinement to one's room, though. We ground from specific things: computer, movies, going outside to play, reading, etc.
My SO punishes by giving his
My SO punishes by giving his kids extra chores. He's very creative too. Once he made the boys take everything out of the garage, set it in the driveway for an hour, and then put it back exactly as it was originally. When one of them commented that it was pointless he responeded with, "No. The point is that you need to listen to me. Get it?!" I had to bite my tongue to not laugh.
Me evil SM grounded me as punishment and I can honestly say it didn't work...I liked being in my room anyway even though my grounding was without radio or TV.
Hi, thanks so very much for
Hi, thanks so very much for these suggestions!...
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Ahhh, my DH was always
Ahhh, my DH was always changing the "rules" of punishments, we always used to argue about this, I was a little stricter, but not THAT much..... In fact most of DH's problems with punishing sd21, younger at the time, was that it was TOO LITTLE TOO LATE ....... She had been a princess for too long, and now believed the hype!! It was all a great big disaster in waiting.......
To this day, DH knows she is a Mythomaniac, a Hypochondriac, and just wants a relationship with his wallet, but he continues to enable her, it changes from the excuses of them being a " kid" and being immature to being, well they are grown now.... I can't control her actions....blah blah blah.......
All he is doing is enabling her to continue such behaviour ..... How about lead by example ?? Sd21 wants money, then get a JOB !! ( sd21 has never worked more than 10 hours or so a week)
Try talking to your husban
Try talking to your husban about doing a chore list for when the grils are grounded, and make it apply to both that way it doesnt come accross as just out to get your SD.
Chore list are good even with out a punishment to teach them responsibility. My future SD's have chore lists and if they do everything they get a toy from the Dollar store (but they are 4 & 6)
TV should deffenantly be taken away, instead of worring about disconnecting cable or switching the breaker just disconnect the cable cord in the back of the TV and put it in your room till the punnishment is up.