New to this board, so I'll give a little background info. I have been living with my boyfriend of 2 years for a year now. We refinanaced my home together and now are co-owners. I have three girls.... 18 (away in college), 11, and 4 yo. He has been divorced for 9 years and has an 11 yo son. I met his son several months into the relationship, he did not want to upset his son by introducing the new gf. The bm is manipulative and controlling of my boyfriend, threats about child support, custody etc. Also she fills their son's head with various mean things like "daddy has a new gf, so he does not have time for "US" anymore". I thought "US" ceased when the judge singed the decree!

The son has been very cruel and manipulative of my two younger girls. Pushing the 4 yo off moving swings, beds, tripping her, threatens the 11 year old if she tells, etc. all during his weekend visitation. Most recently, he caused property damage in my 11 yo daughter's bathroom. He admitted it to my child, but refused to admit it to me. When his father was made aware of what happened, he did get the child to admit over the phone that he had done what he was accused of doing. I expected an apology!! Rightfully so I will add.

6 weeks have gone by and his son "doesn't feel comfortable" coming to our home. His father has not made him, but rather excludes me from attending his games, school events, nor does the dad utilize his own weekend visitation to have his son. He goes to take him to lunch, go to a movie, pumpkin carving activities.... bm and their mutual friends and their kids present on that outing, but me nor my girls were invited, convenient. I feel it is wrong that he has not had to face me or my daughter since the damage was found. It's further manipulation on the bio mom's part and the son's part to not have to face the consequences of his actions. Very frustrating when I have no discipline power or voice about this child in our home.

My girls ask when he is coming over, and his dad makes excuses. I think his father needs to get his son's hiney to our house, force him to apologize, take the consequences, and MOVE ON! I don't care if the kid doesn't like it. My bfriend has total authority to discipline my children, I don't intervene or challenege him. They will respect adults, and take responsibility for their actions. Frustrating for me to see this only child turning into a real jerk that I am beginning to not like very much!

Any ideas or suggestions would be appreciated.