Everything feels so up in the air today. Bf read his note yesterday evening and didn't seem the least phased by it. Even made some friendly conversation until ss returned home and found his note. Ss was furious and stomped out to complain to his dad. First time I've ever seen daggers literally popping out of ss's eyes (he's generally plays the "ain't I so cute and wuvable?" passive aggressive type). I walked in my room and slammed the door shut, so don't know what they talked about or how it went. Bf made no further effort to converse with me and slept on the couch again last night. He was fixing me a cup of coffee when I walked into the kitchen this morning, which probably means he prefers not to be sleeping on the couch every night. Ss slept with his head at the foot board, (overlooking his bedroom door), but his door is staying closed for a welcome change. This is a long standing source of contention between the three of us. Both bf and ss would always sleep with their bedroom doors wide open at night if it weren't for me. It totally creeps me out.

Bf made arrangements to whisk Ss out of the house this morning first thing. He said he'd put a load of their pants in the washer and asked me to move them to the dryer. Also said that their dirty clothes were out and sorted. Not sure what he meant by that, but I've been doing all of the laundry because they run the electric bill (that I pay) through the ceiling doing a piece here and there rather than everything at once. Since they do have it all sorted into loads that are energy efficient, they can do their own laundry.

Feeling like I got off on a wrong track as far as disengagement. Or that I've just been going about disengagement all wrong. Read some more about it at this site today - http://www.steptogether.org/disengaging.html and http://www.steptogether.org/help.html - and it doesn't seem as if I've done anything wrong, but it still feels awkward as hell.

What's hardest for me is that I know young Mr. 99th percentile in his age/weight category is going to gain like hell. His father doesn't say "no" to anything. But I still have control of my own kitchen, I guess, and I buy the groceries. If FatherGod wishes to allow his son to gorge on sugar filled 2 liter sodas and uber-calorie meals when they're not here, so be it.

Then there's school. I was wondering how biodad would handle open house today. He can't drive. Just phoned to say he was catching a ride with his younger sister who has to take her son too. Good deal! Open house is nothing, though. It's how ss behaves once he's in school and how his father handles it that will tell all.

Next battle will probably be ss's unreasonable belief that he should have an empty calorie laden "breakfast" before the bus comes, even though he gets free breakfast and lunch at school. He started having a snack before leaving for school when he was on Prozac, because it would upset his empty stomach. He's been off of Prozac for over a year, but still thinks he ought to eat heartily before he goes to school. I provide the little fruit snack bars that are ~100 calories apiece, but he doesn't think that's enough. Sorry, Bub, that's what I'm willing to buy and that's what is here. If you want more, con your father into finding a ride to the store and money to pay for your 400+ calorie double packets of pop tarts and whatever else...

One of the biggest thorns in my side from the beginning has been ss's inappropriate and incessant unnecessary phone calls to his father (and me). They imply to me that ss believes we are supposed to be anchored at home when he is away just waiting for him to phone us with demands, orders and flat out nonsense. Not sure what the solution to that is or that it's my place as a disengaged sm to find a solution. What I do know is that I'm sick of my very limited quality time with my man being interrupted and ruined by ss's unnecessary calls and nonsense. Do I simply tell bf that until he gets the phone calls from his son under control that I won't go anywhere with him? The phone is probably an entire topic unto itself. Stay tuned...