I am a single Mum of one child, my son nearly 12yo. He is very independant, well mannered, intelligent and very loving. Of course without being completely bias, he can be a pain in the butt like most children at different ages at times. I met my DP nearly 18 months ago and I have never met anyone so loving and generous. I am 41yo and my DP is 48yo and he has two very young children 5yo boy and 2 yo girl. We both respect and love each other and would like to be together long term. We have not rushed into our relationship eg. we dont want to move in together for the sake of our children adapting slowly with us being together. In the first 6 months the BM of my DP's children was very difficult and didnt want me near her children. Over this time I persisted for the sake of my DP and the BM has relaxed alot more and things did improve. My ex, BF of my son has always been very amicable and fair through the process of our son meeting my DP as we decided to stay friends for the sake of our son. Basically my side has really been a pretty simple process and my son enjoys and respects my DP. Over time, it has become fairly daunting to me now that my DP's children are so young. It is like stepping back and having to do 'little kids' things all over again. Where now my son is independant, respectful, understands and knows boundaries that I have taught over the years. He doesnt do the little kids things anymore, and watches movies that arent cartoon based anymore, plays his electronics, he can kick a ball, ride his bike, scooter, ripstik etc etc. Now in saying all of the above, we at this stage only have my DP's son (5yo) every second weekend for one night, two days. We still do not have DP's daughter (2yo) as the BM wont let this happen due to her young age. I have only met DP's daughter four times all up for about an hour or two at the most each time. My son is not really interested in my DP's son due to the age gap and when they are under the same roof every second weekend, we no longer push them to spend time together. My son really just isnt interested as there are no similar interests and a big difference in maturity between them. I dont want to have mess in my home (my own home is where the time spent with us and the children together) I dont want to feel in my own home when DP's son is with us that I cant watch what I want on the tv, or having to ensure my DP's son is entertained the whole time he is here as he wants to watch his kids shows on tv, play with his trucks throughout the home, playdough ground into my outdoor area from messy play, not eating anything I make except vegemite sandwiches (when food is offered "I dont like that" is his comment always), to get woken up in the middle of the night because he is scared, my DP having to get up sometimes 5 or 6 times in a night and I get woken up in this process. Wont sleep past 5:30am and my poor DP then has to get up early with him as his son wont go back to sleep. I dont want to go to the park and sit and wait for him to play on the fortes or swings, have to walk slow as he cant scooter very well yet. What I am getting at is I have been there done that with my own son in the past. He is now my son who comes and goes from me with his needs and not totally reliant on me anymore. I am so scared for the future as it will be part of the equation for many years yet to come and once DP's daughter starts spending nights in the future it will start all over again. I wanted my late forties to be enjoying time with my DP without the stress of little ones as my son will be in his late teens and off enjoying his life alot more than spending as much time at home. Also child support (which take a huge whack out of my DP's pay each month) will be for fourteen more years. He will be 62 years old (his children will be 16 and 19 and I will be 55 (my son will be 25). However will this work. I would be happy to live apart until they are much much older. I am at the point I dont even want to spend time with DP's son now on weekends as it just cramps my lifestyle in my own home. His son is a nice boy but I am just not committed anymore. Its like the novelty has now worn off with my patience to deal with DP's son and his complete reliance. My DP says we will work it out as we love each other so much. Do you think we have hope. Please help. I already have resentment towards his children and they cant help what this situation is.