I was about to go under for the 3rd time yesterday when I came to this site. After reading some of the other blogs I was able to get my wits about me and go home with a much better attitude.

Here's my story: newly married (less than 1 yr; togther 3). Both of us had been divorced a long time and now find ourselves with a total of 4 kids (3 teenagers). I'm talking long term...I had been divorced 16 yrs; him 12. Neither of us saw ourselves marrying again....just goes to show never say never!

I have one son who is nearly 15 who came along after my divorce from a dating realtionship. He is with us exclusively.

Husband has two daughters 17, 14, (from his marriage who visit 2 wks at Christmas and 6 wks in the summer) and a 9 yr old son (being raised by his maternal grandparents, visitation is random) from a dating realtionship.

Our backgrounds are similar in some ways, vastly different in others!I'm from an openly demonstrative family who loves to laugh, eat, and includes everyone. I was raised with positive love and encouragement. The emphasis in my nuclear family was education. All four of us have at least one degree. All this from a 'working class' family. I lived in the same house all my life until the day I married (obiviously, the 1st time! LOL)We never did without and our home was busy, cluttered, and welcoming.

His family is more reserved, aloof, critical, and materialistic. Saving money, cleanliness, neatness, and precision is where the emphasis was placed in my husband's family of origin. One of the four has a degree. The family moved constantly b/c of promotions for the dad ($$$ was always the driving force).

The two of us have a wonderful, loving relationship. We have so much fun and have goals for our future! Our personalities complement each other and we come together as one.....But, when you throw in all the other crap, it tends to get less wonderful.

Now, let me tell you what's nearly driven me to the edge:

My sds are here for the summer and all the household rules my son adheres to year round are out the window! The sd's are allowed to stay up as late as they want, sleep as late as they want, watch as much TV, playstation, computer ect.... whereas my son has strict limitations placed on him. They are allowed to hand pick groceries..my son gets told to like it or lump it. My husband rules the remote in the main living area of the house....EXCEPT when they are here. We watch what they choose. See where I'm going with this???

The whole world comes to an end when they visit and life beomes one big vacation. (jobs don't go away nor do bills!) Games nightly or on demand, movies, shopping, anything they desire!! We don't have a lot of extra money I should add...

I saw this when we were dating but I could always go home if it got too much...not now! They are in my home! I have no where to escape to except our bedroom! We sold my house and moved into his....still being referred to as "dad's house, dad's room" ect...

I know this next part is normal too, but I'm having a lot of trouble dealing with the sd's fighting. They fight (loudly!!) about the most insignificant things I've ever seen. They even count to make sure no one else has gotten more than them (numbers of shrimp or pieces of chicken...ect). Can you imagine, sitting down to dinner counting the number of things on others' plates? What on earth? There is no laughter or conversation..it's more like a competetion than meal time. My son looks like he's just been teleported to a foreign country. This is like nothing he's ever experienced either. He's started staying in his room a lot too.

I miss my peaceful home. I know it's only temporary but at least until yesterday I didn't think I could hold on. Today I have some hope.

I must go on and add another huge part of the issues. My husbands' parents...he has relied on them over the years for financial assistance....giving away a lot of power in the process. I on the other had, row my own boat and make my own decisions. Despite my husband's efforts to take back his power and financial independence, the pattern of 'taking care'(butting in) of my husband remains.

I got on to the girls last week and all hell has broken loose. The sd's went straight to grandmama and 'told' on me. His mother has now told him he will loose the girls. They will not want to keep coming to see him b/c of me. First of all, they may start to reduce their visits b/c they are getting older and getting a life of their own. When this happens, it will fall back on me.

I do feel better after reading the other blogs and going home and talking to my husband. Is it any wonder I have a huge catch in my neck today?? He is encouraging me to focus on us and how we are, what we are working for and assures me he will deal with his parents and kids.

Thanks for the safe environment for venting!!!!!