Compared to a lot of the stories here, I don't have it that bad. Although we've hit enough bumps that my BF is still my BF and not my DH. I also suspect that if anything ends us, it will be the kid situation.

My kids are average BD10 and BS8. My BF has twins SD10s. My relationship with my ex is very cordial. We work well as co-parents and other than the money issues agree on how to do this. Hand-offs are without drama, there is no bad-mouthing, and we back one another up when necessary. BF's relationship with his ex is very contentious. They're rude to one another, hanging up, yelling on the phone and saying nasty things in front of the kids.

BF works nights and a rotating schedule of 4 on, 2 off. His visitation is that he has his kids every night he isn't working. So basically, no nights off for us.

BF is also a bit of a Disney Dad. His girls have to be entertained almost all of the time they're with him. They have almost no boundaries from either parent (the BM lets them do what they want as long as they don't bother her, while he has them around him all the time, keeping them entertained, but buying and giving them whatever they want.) For instance, they have no reliable bedtime and will routinely stay up past midnight and then sleep until 11 or 12. Whenever they complain they're bored, BF will jump in and rescue them, whereas my kids are pretty good at entertaining themselves, finding a game or something.

I worry about parenting girls like this. When we have them, it's all about them. They're preferences etc. Family vacation, we talked about going to the beach, but then he says "well, the girls already went to the beach...so we should do something different." He also spoils them immensely with monetary things, and I feel bad that I can't always do the same for my kids. It's also hard when they're all together and the girls are used to staying up late, but my kids have to go to bed because they have camp in the morning. Recently he's been spending most of the time with them apart from us, so I basically lose him entirely when he has them.

They're not bad kids. They're just...kids. They miss their dad and pull 10yo manipulative things to get what they want. The BM is emotionally abusive and borderline neglectful (despite living in a nice house/neighborhood and only working part-time.) I feel bad for them and would like to provide the kind of home that every kid deserves. I'm fully aware that BF is the major problem. He just doesn't see that the girls need consistency and reasonable boundaries more than they need a new iPod. He reacts to all of them (BM included) pressing his buttons. He's a part of them growing up entitled.

Not really looking for much, just felt like I wanted to get this all out with some other people who understand.